Wednesday 28 October 2009

0 Tales from Suburbia

It takes a lot to get me to leave the city and go out to suburbia. Why would I when I have everything on my doorstep? As my friend had invited me round to hers for dinner though and as hers is in suburbia, I'd made an exception.

Sitting next to a nose-picker on the bus wasn't the best start to my trip out of town but I'd just tried to feel grateful I don't have to travel by public transport and encounter people like him every day. I also felt glad when I arrived that I'm not one of the neighbours of the residents that have put up their Christmas decorations on the front of their house already. Great big flashing lights that illuminate the whole street. I got a headache just walking past.

I was still in a reasonable mood though until some jobsworth in Tescos decided to ruin it. It appears that when I left the city I somehow went back in time. Back to when I wasn't old enough to buy alcohol. I got ID'ed buying a bottle of wine! I told her I was 33 so had stopped carrying proof of my age a long time ago, expecting her to laugh and say sorry and that I should feel flattered or words to that effect. No the jobsworth that she was, said... 'well you won't be buying this then' and took the bottle off me like I was a naughty child with my hands in the biscuit tin!! I had to walk past the queue behind me empty-handed and feeling mortified.

My friend promised me it was ok I'd turned up without wine but as we couldn't open the bottle I'd taken the last time I visited -the cork wouldn't come out or go in! - so I'd taken it away with me when I left, I think she is starting to get a bit suspicious. Not that it matters, I'm not going round again. Next time I'll get her to come to the City, to a place where 33 year olds are allowed to drink.