Monday 14 March 2011

79 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 16

Date number 3 with Hands was a resounding success. Agreed?

Date number 4 with Hands was definitely on the cards. Agreed?

Fraid not.

Don't panic though, the game wasn't over exactly. It was just that the croupier was going to have to hold off dealing the next hand, because I was having to go away and work again for a few weeks.

Before you feel sorry for me I should stress that I was going to film in the Canaries. It wasn't exactly a hardship. In fact I was dead excited about going. I was just slightly concerned about the timing with regards to my romance. It was still early days with me and Hands. Maybe he wouldn't wait for me?

Then I reminded myself that he'd hung around for six weeks between date one and date two. And lots had happened since then. We'd been on a rollercoaster together, eaten pizza together, laughed together, played tonsil hockey together... We were practically in a committed relationship.

There was absolutely no need for me to worry. All would be fine.

I was flying out on the Saturday morning so texted Hands asking if he was going to be in Manchester on the Friday evening (yes, my copy of The Rules was now shoved in a drawer somewhere.) He replied in the affirmative and asked if I was going to be out in town and whether I fancied a 'sneaky meet-up'. I explained that I wanted to be fresh for flying so wasn't going 'out out' but wondered if he fancied meeting for a drink before he saw his friends.

Seems not.

He called me and mumbled something about it not really being possible, and explained that it would have been different if I had plans to go out as we could have 'accidentally bumped into each other'.

I see.

He then added that it was probably for the best, cause he'd find it really difficult seeing me for only half an hour and then having to say goodbye.


Except 'awwww' is not the way I actually felt about what he'd said. You see it appears that I have something in my head that I can only describe as being like a translation app. Put a sentence in and get the real meaning out. (I just wish I'd had it years ago because I'm sure I would have got a better mark in my French oral.) So those may have been the words going in, but in my mind what Hands was actually saying was 'You're alright Rapunzel but I wouldn't want to sacrifice any of boys' night to see you. Hell no! I don't like you that much.'

Needless to say I didn't feel very smashing when I got off the phone. In fact gutted would be a more apt description. What could I do though? Knowing how hyper-sensitive I can be, plus anyone that has ever used Babelfish will know that translation tools don't always give accurate results, I decided to get some other opinions on what he'd said.

Immediately I felt better. I was taking control. Plus I love surveys! Only this week I heard on the radio that it has been discovered that men like receiving flowers. The reason they know this is that they compared the happiness level of men without pansies etc, to those with them. There was a blooming big difference.

This survey was going to be as useful as that one. Probably even moreso. For me anyway.

Respondent 1

I first spoke to my Bro in order to get the male perspective. He wasn't so bothered about analysing whether Hands was keen on me or not, he was more concerned with the fact that Hands didn't seem to have a back-bone when it came to his friends and couldn't tell them he was going to meet me and would only see me if he could make out it was an 'accident' (This also brings up the question about the intelligence of his friends if they would find that believable!)

Verdict: Hands is a wet lettuce

Respondent 2

I asked my friend 'England' what she thought. She was outraged. At me. She said that she didn't know what the heck I was going on about and it wasn't like I was his girlfriend and he therefore wasn't required to have to see me before I went away. I meekly said that I knew that but I wanted him to want to see me. And I'd want him to feel like that even if he was my boyfriend. She was having none of it. We agreed to disagree. Before we ended up wrestling or something.

Verdict: Rapunzel is high maintenance, demanding and needs to have a word with herself.

Respondent 3

Asked my friend Scarlet what she thought. She said I was right to be concerned and it didn't seem like Hands was very interested in me.

Verdict: Nobody loves Rapunzel.

Ok, ok I may have slightly skewed the questions when talking to Scarlet and told her how much it had bothered me, and she just did like a good friend does, and said she understood.

All the time and money (well all those free minutes I'd used up calling the respondents) I'd put into my survey and I was none the wiser. Was it the end of the road for the Rapunzel and Hands romance? Or was I just worrying about nothing? And was it true that guys really like receiving flowers? I had no idea...


Glen said...

What a waste of money - buying a bloke flowers? I'd be gutted when a crate of beer would cost half as much and mean so much more!

I agree with your Bro - Hands likes you but has no back bone

Oilfield Trash said...

He has no back bone. Your bro said it best. said...

Hon, I must forward you my phone number. This is what I would've told you: your response is totally understandable - not high maintenance, not overly sensitive. Of course you wanted to see him and wanted him to want to see you before you left.

Next, it's not that he's not interested. Of course he is. He just didn't want to feel too attached before your six week departure. He could've - and ideally would've - been more honest about his feelings. It's awkward at this stage with things so ill defined.

Before we hung up the phone, and with you feeling better, I'd assure you you'd likely have a fabulous reunion upon return. (i.e., Call me next time!) ;0)


jo said...

i agree with robyn. i'm pretty sure he's interested, but the bigger thing (in general with any "relationship") is figuring how just how much is he interested. and at this point it looks like he isn't quite ready to dive into it yet. but it's okay 'coz you get to go to canaries. enjoy yourself!

Ca88andra said...

I'm leaning towards your Bro - after all men know men best!

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

My God - you expected him to drop his friends for you after a couple of dates? How would you feel if he asked YOU to do that?
Check out my dating disasters:
*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

Rapunzel said...

Fair point Glen. I don't think they compared the happiness level with men that had flowers and men that had beer!

Thanks for giving your verdict Oilfield Trash. So far the guys are sticking together?

Brilliant comment Robyn! I shall do that next time. Though I may have to skype as you do live quite far away!!

Yet so far the guys are agreeing with the Bro, Jo. It's all very confusing! Oh and sadly the Canaries trip has been and gone. I'm still getting you up to date to the present day!!

Normally I agree Ca88andra that to get an opinion on men the best person to ask is a bloke but if I've learnt anything from doing these posts, is that when it comes to dating no-one agrees!!

I'm sorry Fishy but your response is invalid as you didn't listen to the survey question. I didn't want him to cancel his plans, far from it! I'm merely asking whether his response about not wanting to see me for just half an hour because he'd hate saying goodbye sounds realistic or not?!

Thanks all as ever,
Rapunzel x

whydidn'tshefancyme said...

I agree with your brother. He has no back bone.

Betty B said...

Maybe he feared that he wouldn’t end up leaving after half an hour (due to your wit and charm)and he would get man abuse from his friends for ditching?
*Tales from the Morning After*

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Invalid? Sorry, didn't realise we were only allowed to comment in a way you want...

Rapunzel said...

Interesting that you blogger boys seem to think the same 'WhyDidn'tSheFancyMe' but the guys on Twitter have a whole different perspective!

Of course Betty B! That will have been it! You have won the prize as my favourite commenter on chapter 16!


Joe King said...

PMFOOW, I think she means 'invalid' because you didn't read the question properly, not because you didn't comment as she wanted.

Perhaps if you paid more attention to what women are saying, you might not still be single. Bazinga!!

Personally Rapunzel, I think he sounds like he's playing you and doing a good job of it.


Betty B said...

Always like to be a winner! :)
*Tales from the Morning After*

Sophie said...

Why is nothing simple? Why don't men say what they really feel and think? I think he likes you a lot (he would be mad not too!) and your bro is right! I am pretty sure he would have been kicking him self that he didnt see you! I would have many amazing tales of your trip and the men you met ready for when you see him again!!

Happy Frog and I said...

Oh dear and it was all going so swimmingly. One thing I do know about the men I have met is that none of them wanted flowers. It is difficult enough to get them to buy flowers for me! They do like beer bought for them though. Definitely.

I don't know what was going on in Hand's mind but I do know he would be crazy to mess you about. So I hope he didn't/doesn't.

Anonymous said...

I think you should try and dampen down the "We were practically in a committed relationship". You're only increasing the expectation level...

To answer the question. This:
"he'd find it really difficult seeing me for only half an hour and then having to say goodbye."
is bullshit. This is something you make up when you are 13.

If you are a man over 30, in theory you will have been out with enough women to know that you have to ditch your mates now and again. It wasn't all night either. Plus his mates (should) know this too. Unless they are manchilds.

I think you should definitely consider the probability that he is playing you with other girls. This isn't wrong per se, he obviously doesn't think you are in a committed relationship, but i think he's hedging his bets.

Does anyone else know what this guy looks like, people in Manchester? Could he not, knowing that you aren't going out, line someone else up?

What you should do, if you really like him, is f**k his brains out - like really go for it, don't get romantic. Scare the daylights out of him. Then drop him cold, take ages to reply to txt (or don't) be really flakey, who cares. He will beg - then low and behold you are the one with all the power. You need to break Hands in!!

Then you can decide. Command, then conquer.

Personally, i like flowers.

Amanda @ Wild Oats said...

Arghhh! I'm super terrible at analyzing the actions of men (even though I do it ALLLLL of the time)! So I'm not going to make any predictions. I'll just (im)patiently wait to see how the story unfolds!

tb said...

I'm not a pansy & I don't want one thanks ! :0P

The man is obviously a wet lettuce, the best move would be to plant the ball firmly in his court on your return and wait for him to make the running no matter how hard that was


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Anna said...

Maybe conduct an experiment... Follow 'the rules' TO A TEE and see what happens...

Anonymous said...

Agree with Anna.

Try reading Mars & Venus On A Date, written by a married guy with good marriage. Youtube him if you like :)

Some of the rules are in his books too.

Rapunzel said...

That is what I meant JK but I didn't fancy an argument. So you think he was playing me eh? He was doing a good job of it cause I didn't know the rules!!

You are a winner Betty B!

Bless you Sophie!! If only men did say what they thought things would be a lot easier (more boring perhaps though?!)

Thanks Happy Frog! There is another chapter to come with a bit more info so you can decide then whether he mucked me about or not!

Rapunzel x

Rapunzel said...

Anonymous - I was going to ask whether you were a Miss Anonymous or Mr but the last line made it clear! Were you the one that tweeted me?

I was being sarcastic about the 'committed relationship' thing. I know that 3 dates does not a relationship make!!

Great to hear your opinion on the rest though. I'm all for boys' night (how else could girls' night exist after all?!) but I'd already been dumped for boys' night (as detailed in chapter 7) so it was becoming a bit of a sore point!

I'm loving that you are saying being really flakey can work!!

I'll be revealing what I did do'll have to read to see whether I commanded then conquered!


Rapunzel said...

At least you know you aren't the only analyser Amanda! I will be unfolding very soon...!

Thanks tb! I can always rely on you to be on Team Rapunzel can't I?! ;-)

Sex chat - I know your comment is spam but a compliment is a compliment so for once I'm not deleting you! I'm just not clicking through to buy viagra or whatever you are selling!

Maybe that's where I went wrong Anna?! I probably put it in the drawer far too early and I deserved everything I got!!

Thanks Anonymous - will check it out!!

Thanks all for commenting. I can't tell you how nice it feels that not only has someone read the post but then has taken the time to leave a little message (regardless of what it says Fishy!)

Loving your work guys!

Glen said...

hmmmmmmm so you and Sophie want men to actually say what they are thinking? Are you sure?

Okay, well it shouldn't take long.

Generally you can take your pick from one of these options.

#1 Oh those boobs are nice.

#2 Oh those boobs are even nicer than the last ones.

#3 Is there any lager in the fridge?

#4 What can I say next to give me the best possible chance of getting oral?

#5 What's for tea?

To crack the code -
If his tongue is out he is thinking #3 or #5.

If he is smiling it's #1 or #2.

If he is looking deep and thoughtful, it's #4.

If you apply that to almost any situation you should be fine.

This does not include your dads.

Sophie said...

Thanks Glen! I have noted them down and Im ready to put into pratice, he might find it a bit odd when I am getting my little bit of paper out my bag on the date but as he will be doing #1 and #2 then I am sure he wont notice! Also I am guessing when you put the list together you were thinking of a home date, rather then asking the waiter what lager they have?

: )

Glen said...

oh - posh dates? dates out in public, involving money spending?

Why didn't you say?

If he is comfortable enough to be seen in public with you then he will try and have sex with you afterward.

If he keeps ducking down and checking over his shoulder through the meal and then tries to have sex with you in the car - then he is probably married.

If he keeps ducking down and checking over his shoulder through the meal and then doesn't try and have sex with you in the car, then you are very, VERY ugly... or you forgot about the 'last slice of pizza' rule.

Always happy to help.

Sophie said...

Well I am lucky if I reach the posh date involving that thing called money!
I have done one and two (I am talking about your points here) and maybe three has happened and I thought he was being a gent!

Very simple and tad harsh points... why were we putting so much thought into it!?

Rapunzel said...

I haven't replied to your last comments Glen and Sophie cause I've been busy daydreaming about the book that us three will write.

We'll call it the Real Rules. Sophie and I will give you all our queries about men and Glen you can explain what they would have been thinking, what they really would have meant etc, etc.

It will undoubtedly be a best-seller!

Rapunzel x

ps I know you've basically been doing that here and getting on fine without me but it's my idea to package it up and sell it. Plus sometimes things are more fun with three rather than two yeah?!

Sophie said...

Real Rules...I like it... I really like it! And I agree Rapunzel three is never a crowd in my eyes!

Ohhh the questions I have, like

So at what point of the date (a successful date) is he thinking I want sex with her? After the 3 second meet at the beginning? After we have spoken?

Why do men really do the wait 3 days before I text her rule like it is a religion?

If the man is thinking "God she is ugly!" on a date, what is he really thinking when we are talking? Planning a 18 man rescue?

Ok Glen that is loads for you to get cracking at! Can you see how this 3sum will work, but hay ho you have 2 women and that is every man's dream.

Soph x

Glen said...

dribble... hkliw/; jojuopidw l;wd

can't use hands anymore...

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