I wasn't going to tell you about my most recent date.
And the reason I wasn't going to tell you, is because I'm embarrassed about it.
And the reason I'm embarrassed about it, is because the venue for the date was the Trafford Centre.
To be honest, I wasn't entirely convinced that the guy in question was for me. Or rather, I wasn't convinced that I was the right girl for him. His online profile listed sports that he was into and they were all outdoorsy. Things like mountain biking, climbing, skiing and canoeing. Now I'm not saying that I'm against these things. I have in fact tried some of them, but at the moment I'm living in the middle of a city. My current hobbies are more things like drinking cocktails in Harvey Nics.
He seemed keen though, so I accepted his invitation to go on a date.
He texted me...I have the perfect idea for where we can have our first date..!
Oooh where?
The Trafford Centre. It's under cover. We can shop, eat and drink!
'Noooooooo!' I said out loud when I read it.
Now I'm really not a fussy madam. I can be as happy with a chippy tea as I am going to a posh restaurant, but the Trafford Centre....? It's a shopping centre! He was even suggesting we shop. Whoever shops on a first date?
I think what most concerned me was that he thought it was such a perfect idea. We were clearly on different wavelengths. I decided to make my excuses and not meet him.
I'd forgotten all about it until the other week when Mr Trafford Centre texted again suggesting we reschedule.
I don't know whether it was the fact it is a new year, or a new decade to be more precise, but I decided to go for it. I mean imagine if he was 'The One' and I'd dismissed him purely because of his venue suggestion? And actually I was starting to see his reasoning behind it. I told him he could dream on about the shopping bit but we could do the eating and drinking part there. And we'd be out of the rubbish weather. Maybe it was a really good suggestion? Maybe he's actually a genius?
I get there straight after work. He phones me when he arrives shortly after to ask where I am. I tell him what shop I'm in and suggests he meets me there.
'No I'm not coming there. Meet me outside Selfridges.'
'OK.' Demanding.
I get there. Look around. There is no-one that resembles his photo.
My phone rings. 'I can see you! Look behind you.'
I twirl around.
'No the other way. Can you see me? Ha ha, I can see you and you can't see me!'
'Where are you?' He was starting to piss me off. And I hadn't even met him. With hindsight, I wish I'd just walked off. That would have showed him.
'I'm coming towards you now. I'm that fat guy! Ha ha! Only joking!'
He appears in front of me, still on his mobile phone.
'Ha ha wasn't that hilarious?'
Yeah hilarious.
'You really thought I was the fat guy didn't you? Were you worried? Glad to see you aren't fat by the way. I've met up with a couple of girls from the site and both were fat and neither looked like their photos. I told one I had to buy a shirt and needed to go into that shop...'
'You met up with her here?'
'Yeah I always meet my dates here.'
'Not just here in the Trafford Centre, but here at this very spot?'
'Yeah.'
Weirdo.
'Anyway she said she'd come with me, so I had to go pretend I needed to try the shirt on. Instead of going to the changing rooms I just went out the other door of the shop.Ha ha!'
'You just left her?' I said incredulously.
'Yes. The other one looked like her photo. If it was taken years ago that is! She'd put on a few pounds since then. I went to a bar with her and said I had to go to the toilet and instead I left. Ha ha!'
'Are you seriously telling me, a girl you are on a date with, about times you've abandoned other girls mid-date? Do you think that endears you to me?'
'You didn't see them. Anyway you look like your photo so you're OK, I won't do it to you.'
Arse.
Now why at this point I didn't leave ('I just need to go to the toilet...') I've no idea. I'm clearly a sucker for punishment. And have better manners than him. No, instead I bit my tongue and began my Trafford Centre date...
To be continued (unfortunately)...
