32 The One Where All This Happened...

If my life in 2010 was a sitcom, the episode guide would look something a bit like this...

Ep 1: The one with the date with a blogger.

Rapunzel makes the brave (foolhardy?) decision to go on a date with the infamous Fishy. For some unknown reason she suggests they fly to another country for the day. The nation waits with baited breath to read Rapunzel and Fishy's versions of how they got along...


Ep 2: The one with the Blogger's Night Out.

Rapunzel goes on another blind date with bloggers. This time with four other girls. Despite what you may imagine, a typical BNO does not involve everyone taking out their laptops. Instead, the girls go for dinner and cocktails and much fun is had by all. Normally what happens on a night out, stays on a night out, but the usual rules do not apply when going out with bloggers who write about everything. Rapunzel forgets about this fact amongst all the merriment and ends up doing something silly...


Ep 3: The one where Rapunzel's blog is on a shortlist.

Fellow blogger Tuppence nominates Rapunzel as one of Manchester's best personal bloggers. Rapunzel is delighted, especially when she is shortlisted in the top 5. She doesn't win but doesn't mind cause everyone knows that it is the taking part that counts. Plus she hadn't been blogging very much...


Ep 4: The one where Rapunzel stops blogging.

We see Rapunzel doing her favourite job - filming hotels for the internet - in seven different countries, including Benidorm, Gran Canaria and Tenerife. She has many tales to tell but is so busy styling bathrooms (spare toilet rolls just look so tacky), chatting to managers and persuading tourists to be filmed in their beachwear, that she doesn't get the chance to recount these stories. And any spare time that she does get, is spent on the beach rather than in internet cafes writing posts.


Ep 5: The one where Rapunzel gets older.

Rapunzel celebrates turning 34. She is working in Portugal which coincidentally is also what she was doing on her 19th birthday. See a flashback as she compares her current situation to the way things were back then...

Work
1995 - waitressing in an Indian restaurant.
2010 - assistant producer doing a job she loves. (winner!)

Home
1995 - paid an equivalent of £5 a night to stay in an apartment that rarely even had running water.
2010 - paying a lot more than £5 a night to stay in an apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Manchester's city centre in the UK's tallest residential building. (winner and not just because of the constant water!)

Love
1995 - in the second year of a relationship with her first love who is at home waiting for his free-spirited girlfriend's return from working abroad for 3 months.
2010 - single and has been for donkeys. (hmmmm!)

In the end Rapunzel decides that is there no point comparing, and that at 34 she is actually the equivalent of two 17 year olds and what could be better than that?!


Ep 6: The one with the purple balloons.

Rapunzel once told Taggart that she'd love to come home to a room filled with balloons. Taggart remembered this and arranges for Rapunzel's new flatmate (The Goddess) to fill Rapunzel's bedroom with purple balloons as well as putting up birthday banners to surprise her when she gets back from Portugal. Just a perfect example of...


Ep 7: The one with the amazing friends.

Rapunzel has some tough times throughout the year but is supported by her fabulous friends. The afore-mentioned Taggart and The Goddess are towers of strength as is her friend England, Scarlet and not forgetting Lego who sends her a care package consisting of things like magazines and face masks as a pick-me-up at a particularly crap time. If good friends were money, Rapunzel would be rich.


Ep 8: The one where Rapunzel is a lesbian.

Or at least she is asked if she is. By her mum. In a text.


Ep 9: The one where Rapunzel goes to bootcamp.

Rapunzel finishes her abroad jobs and decides to start blogging again. She then gets a job filming on an army base where she spends the week staying in the Officer's Mess. 'Officer's Mess?' her friend says, 'That's even better than the Sergeant's Mess. How posh!'

And yes, it is posh if you class posh as somewhere with a single bed, no TV, no internet (bang goes the plans to return to blogging) and shared showers.

In this episode see Rapunzel wake up to the sound of 'Left, right, left right' outside her window. See her argue with one of the Majors for nicking her space in the shower queue. See her complain that 'It's just not right seeing your boss in your pyjamas!' after she sees her boss in his pyjamas. Then see when the fire alarm goes off at 3am and all the crew and Officers traipse outside to the cold and everyone sees each other in their nightwear!


Ep 10: The one with the embarrassing moment.

Flashback to Rapunzel's first day at bootcamp. She has started a week later than the rest of the team and is keen to make a good impression. They finish filming one of the soldiers and Rapunzel goes towards him to take off his radio mic. For some reason the soldier gets confused and seeems to think that Rapunzel is going to kiss him. She realises this, gets flustered and almost draws on his face with the pen she is brandishing. She lets him kiss her though so he's not embarrassed. He realises his mistake though when she reaches for his mic and of course gets embarrassed. Rapunzel does her best to act like it is normal to kiss people when you de-mic them to make him feel better. She prays no-one has noticed.

Seems her boss did. He pulls her aside after and asks 'What the hell was all that about?!' From then on jokes are made when Rapunzel is around soldiers, warning her to refrain from kissing them.


Ep 11: The one where Rapunzel sleepwalks.

Rapunzel gets up from her bed in the Officer's Mess and rushes to queue for the shower with her towel and shampoo. The shower is empty which is weird. She then discovers that it is only 1am and has only been in bed a couple of hours and is actually sleepwalking.

On hearing the story, Jeremy Kyle, the presenter of the programme Rapunzel is working on, informs her that isn't normal behaviour (some could argue that neither was the incident in episode 10). As someone that is known for having unusual people on his chat show, Rapunzel takes on board his thoughts and googles 'sleepwalking'.

It turns out that it isn't usual to have conversations in the middle of the night with people that aren't there. Nor is it normal when staying at your parents home to go into their room and ask your mum who the bugger is that she is in bed with (especially when you should really be able to recognise your own dad...) and then switch their light on and off repeatedly. Seems Jeremy had a point. Rapunzel just isn't quite sure what to do about finding a cure. She has other things distracting her anyway...


Ep 12: The one where Rapunzel meets a boy...

Rapunzel meets a boy. A boy she really likes...

Tune in this Friday for the first episode of the new 2011 series to find out what happens...

28 Luke No Further

Now where were we, before we were rudely interrupted by some ignoramus?

Ah yes, I was telling you about the infamous BNO (Bloggers' Night Out) and how, for some unknown reason, I had thought it a good idea to give my phone number to a barman, otherwise known as Luscious Luke.

You may be thinking that it doesn't sound like such a terrible idea. Fact is though, he hadn't actually asked for my number, or even suggested that he might want it. Unless you believe that by telling me I had a bad attitude, he might be doing it subliminally?

Anyway what's done is done. There was no changing it. I just hoped, as we settled ourselves at a table in the next bar, that everyone would forget about it.

And I think we all did. At least for the fifteen minutes that passed before my phone beeped to indicate I'd received a text. At that point we all squealed. Like girls.

'Open it! What has he said?'

I did so. Praying that it wasn't actually a text from my mum. And wondering if I should pretend it was from Luscious Luke anyway if it was.

There was no need though, as there in my inbox was a message from an unknown number.

For some attitude?x

You would have thought by our reactions that we'd just heard about a shop giving away free shoes. Or that they'd discovered a cure for menstruating or something. My fellow bloggers were as excited as I was!

Result! Luscious Luke had texted me. And put a kiss! I was soooo in there.

We all set to work on a reply and eventually decided on, I will bring the attitude, if you bring the cocktails...

Okay, we'd had no male input and as there was only one attached person in our group of five, you wouldn't say we were exactly qualified in matters of lurve, but we were pretty proud of that text regardless. We reckoned that it was flirty, hinted at a date and we thought that the fact I hadn't put a kiss would keep him on his toes.

It wasn't long before the reply came through.

What's your name mystery Scottish woman?x

Hmmm he hadn't taken the date bait but it wasn't bad. And he'd put a kiss again.

I replied telling him it could be whatever he wanted it to be. Nah of course I didn't text that! I'd told him to guess and asked him his (even though I already knew it was Luke, Luscious Luke to me.) And so it went on.

All too soon it was the end of our BNO. We bade each other farewell, vowed to do it again and I promised to keep them up to date with the future installments of the LL saga.

Twas the very next day that there was a further development when I received the following text from my friendly barman.

Don't want to string you along, I have a girlfriend, just thought you were lovely x

I don't mind telling you that I cried when that message came through. I cried with frustration about yet another guy being attached and I wondered when I'll ever meet someone that isn't.

What I do mind though, is if you believed that statement above. Of course I didn't flipping cry!!! I don't even know the guy. How can I be upset about someone that I don't know from Adam? I was actually quite pleased to get that text. Pleased that he'd told me before I invested any time, and of course pleased about the compliment.

(Please see example above, Mr Lekker and any other attached men. Note that most of us females like our men single, and the sooner we find out that you aren't, the better. Before the first kiss is preferable. We can be weird that way.)

I replied to him thanking him for telling me. There were another few texts between us. General chit-chat about how long we'd both been in Manchester yadda yadda.

He asked me how old I was. I told him to guess. He replied 22,23. I agreed that I was thereabouts (give or take 11 or 12 years.)

I asked how old he was. He replied that he was 24. I laughed.

I asked if he had an older, single, brother. He doesn't.

And that was pretty much the end of that.

The verdict: It maybe didn't have the desired result, but now I know that he's a mere baby, 10 years my junior, I'm not sure that the desired result would have been the desired result anyway, if you get my drift?

Plus it gave all us girls a laugh, as well as giving me an ego boost. Also, I'd asked him his opinion on my technique, whether he thought that giving him my number was too forward. He replied that it wasn't, as he 'probably would have bottled' asking for mine anyway. So you see sometimes us girls have to make the first move.

So all in all, I have no regrets. In fact I reckoned I'd even do it again.

And whaddya know, the opportunity came up just a week later...

28 Flirtini

Give me a B!
Beeeeee!

Give me an N!
Ennnnnnnnn!

Give me an O!
Ohhhhhhhh!

And what have you got?
The Bloggers' Night Out!

Yes, it finally happened. The night we had been talking about for weeks. The night when five strangers were meeting. The night when we were going to see whether Kate, Tuppence, Gingerella, Helen and myself would get on.

Sure we all had blogging in common, and we'd discovered that we are all fond of a cocktail or two, but would that be enough?

Well, you'll be happy to know that it was. It was slightly like being on a bizarre blind date. A group blind date at that. But a good group blind date.

Perhaps that was down to the fact that there were no awkward silences. We may not have met before but we already knew a hell of a lot about each other. I mean I know some things about those girls that I don't even know about some of my oldest friends. Especially that Tuppence one. She has a private blog that you need a password to read. She writes some things on there that would make you blush!

Anyway everything had been going swimmingly. We'd first met in a bar, drank some wine and all gave a little spiel about ourselves.

'Hi I'm Rapunzel. I live in that tower you can see. I'm 33. I like men with big noses. I don't like mushrooms. I once served Cliff Richard while wearing a sari.'

Just the usual stuff like that.

We then moved on to the noodle bar Tampopo to line our stomachs with food, before heading for cocktails as planned.

Gingerella and I went to the bar and waited patiently while the very attractive barman made drinks for the people in front of us. It was just like seeing Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Except he didn't throw anything in the air and it took him flipping aaaages to make the drinks.

He also didn't give as good service as Tom. Unless I missed the bit in the film where Tom told one of his customers that she had a bad attitude, which is exactly what this barman Wannabe Tom was telling me.

He also said something about me having a moany face, rubbish accent and asked Gingerella how she puts up with me (she didn't tell him that she actually didn't know me before that night and instead said I was really nice. Bless!)

I wouldn't have minded so much except I'd barely opened my mouth. I was about to argue with him but when he gave me my drink and said it was on him, I decided to forgive him.

We eventually rejoined the others and continued with our night. Chat, chat, chat.

I can only imagine that at some point there was a lull in the conversation or something though. An awkward silence that needed filling, because there was surely some reason for me suddenly asking the girls whether I should give the barman my phone number.

'Don't be ridiculous Rapunzel. That's a rubbish idea. What part of him slagging you off made you think he actually wants your digits?'

Is what they should have said to me. What they actually said though was..

'Yeah great idea! We'll get you a pen!'

So we were all sorted. I had the note prepared with my number on it and the message 'Call this number for attitude' (smooth I know!) All I had to do was hand it to him, which I was going to do as we were leaving. Easy peasy.

No, not so easy peasy. As we headed out past the bar and I saw the throng of people waiting to be served that I'd have to push though, I lost my nerve.

'I can't do it,' I said to Kate.

'Sure you can.'

I couldn't. I started to make my way out the bar. She stopped me and gave me a pep talk (what a good friend) causing a couple of guys near us to ask what we were talking about. So she told them (hmmm not such a good friend!) and one of them claimed that he knew the very barman we were talking about.

'Luke, Luke,' he shouted across the crowd. Luscious Luke eh? 'She wants you,' he said pointing at me.

Suddenly I felt like I was back at school when Sadie Cook asked Bobby Walker if he'd noticed that I'd started wearing a bra.

I felt mortified. What should I do?

Well,what I did do was decide that I couldn't feel any more embarrassed than I already did. I went up to Luscious Luke, handed him my number, told him it was his tip and then exited the bar while the girls cheered.

I felt brilliant! I felt empowered! I felt invincible!

For about..ooh...two minutes. Right up until I realised what a stupid idea that had been. What had possessed me?

I mean I might never hear from Luscious Luke for various reasons, including...

1/ He may be gay
2/ He may have a girlfriend
3/ He may not like me (I'd suggested to him that he was only giving me abuse because he fancied me and he hadn't actually confirmed my theory)

All good, valid reasons and if I never heard from him I would just pick one to explain why I hadn't (probably number 1).

That would be fine if I was the only one that knew I'd handed out my damn number willy nilly in the first place.

That wasn't the case though. No, in this case there were four other girls that knew. Four other blogging girls. Four blogging girls with lots of readers.

Was I no longer going to be known as the girl that was brave enough to go out with Fishy? Instead would I become the girl that embarrassed herself on the BNO......?