Sunday 20 March 2011

26 On a Break

Things are getting in the way of my blogging at the moment so just wanted to tell you that I'm going to have to take a little break from posting.

It won't be a long interlude, I'll be back in a couple of weeks to continue the story of Hands and Rapunzel, cause there is more to come. Oh yes there is!

Please don't feel bad. It's not you, it's me. I think we need to have some time apart. You know it's for the best. I really like you and I'll be back when I'm able to give you the attention you deserve. I promise.

Rapunzel x

Monday 14 March 2011

79 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 16

Date number 3 with Hands was a resounding success. Agreed?

Date number 4 with Hands was definitely on the cards. Agreed?

Fraid not.

Don't panic though, the game wasn't over exactly. It was just that the croupier was going to have to hold off dealing the next hand, because I was having to go away and work again for a few weeks.

Before you feel sorry for me I should stress that I was going to film in the Canaries. It wasn't exactly a hardship. In fact I was dead excited about going. I was just slightly concerned about the timing with regards to my romance. It was still early days with me and Hands. Maybe he wouldn't wait for me?

Then I reminded myself that he'd hung around for six weeks between date one and date two. And lots had happened since then. We'd been on a rollercoaster together, eaten pizza together, laughed together, played tonsil hockey together... We were practically in a committed relationship.

There was absolutely no need for me to worry. All would be fine.

I was flying out on the Saturday morning so texted Hands asking if he was going to be in Manchester on the Friday evening (yes, my copy of The Rules was now shoved in a drawer somewhere.) He replied in the affirmative and asked if I was going to be out in town and whether I fancied a 'sneaky meet-up'. I explained that I wanted to be fresh for flying so wasn't going 'out out' but wondered if he fancied meeting for a drink before he saw his friends.

Seems not.

He called me and mumbled something about it not really being possible, and explained that it would have been different if I had plans to go out as we could have 'accidentally bumped into each other'.

I see.

He then added that it was probably for the best, cause he'd find it really difficult seeing me for only half an hour and then having to say goodbye.


Except 'awwww' is not the way I actually felt about what he'd said. You see it appears that I have something in my head that I can only describe as being like a translation app. Put a sentence in and get the real meaning out. (I just wish I'd had it years ago because I'm sure I would have got a better mark in my French oral.) So those may have been the words going in, but in my mind what Hands was actually saying was 'You're alright Rapunzel but I wouldn't want to sacrifice any of boys' night to see you. Hell no! I don't like you that much.'

Needless to say I didn't feel very smashing when I got off the phone. In fact gutted would be a more apt description. What could I do though? Knowing how hyper-sensitive I can be, plus anyone that has ever used Babelfish will know that translation tools don't always give accurate results, I decided to get some other opinions on what he'd said.

Immediately I felt better. I was taking control. Plus I love surveys! Only this week I heard on the radio that it has been discovered that men like receiving flowers. The reason they know this is that they compared the happiness level of men without pansies etc, to those with them. There was a blooming big difference.

This survey was going to be as useful as that one. Probably even moreso. For me anyway.

Respondent 1

I first spoke to my Bro in order to get the male perspective. He wasn't so bothered about analysing whether Hands was keen on me or not, he was more concerned with the fact that Hands didn't seem to have a back-bone when it came to his friends and couldn't tell them he was going to meet me and would only see me if he could make out it was an 'accident' (This also brings up the question about the intelligence of his friends if they would find that believable!)

Verdict: Hands is a wet lettuce

Respondent 2

I asked my friend 'England' what she thought. She was outraged. At me. She said that she didn't know what the heck I was going on about and it wasn't like I was his girlfriend and he therefore wasn't required to have to see me before I went away. I meekly said that I knew that but I wanted him to want to see me. And I'd want him to feel like that even if he was my boyfriend. She was having none of it. We agreed to disagree. Before we ended up wrestling or something.

Verdict: Rapunzel is high maintenance, demanding and needs to have a word with herself.

Respondent 3

Asked my friend Scarlet what she thought. She said I was right to be concerned and it didn't seem like Hands was very interested in me.

Verdict: Nobody loves Rapunzel.

Ok, ok I may have slightly skewed the questions when talking to Scarlet and told her how much it had bothered me, and she just did like a good friend does, and said she understood.

All the time and money (well all those free minutes I'd used up calling the respondents) I'd put into my survey and I was none the wiser. Was it the end of the road for the Rapunzel and Hands romance? Or was I just worrying about nothing? And was it true that guys really like receiving flowers? I had no idea...

Sunday 6 March 2011

33 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 15


Good morning Miss Rapunzel... or now that we are more familiar may I call you Rapunzel?

I'd just like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to give me a very professional and insightful guided tour around your wonderful facility. The views (and sensations) immediately in front of me, and those of the city sky line were equally impressive.

Thank you for fulfilling my service requests and acting in a professional manner throughout the meeting.

I look forward to doing business with you again in the near future.

Kind regards

Mr Hands x
Cold Shower Executions Manager


Dear Mr Hands

Thank you for your email.

I am glad that you were happy with the service you received. You are clearly an expert in your field and I hoped that I could meet your understandably high standards.

I feel that we make a good partnership and am happy to continue with this relationship. I suggest we arrange some more one-on-ones though as there are some things I would like to run (my hands) over.

Can I also suggest that we remain professional in our correspondence and keep the familiarity to our meetings? I'm unable to offer the services I have provided you with to anyone but my favoured clients, so I ask for your discretion at this stage.

I look forward to meeting with you again.

Miss Rapunzel x


I know it's a bit cheeky of me to copy and paste the emails that we sent each other after date 3 and pass it off as a blog post! You want to know the whole story though don't you? Exactly as it happened? And this is what occurred next!

Plus I wanted to show off my new look blog! My bro did it as a surprise. He's a good un isn't he?! Thanks bro!

Thank you all for continuing to read and a special mention to those who comment. I love, love, love reading them! You guys are the best!

The next installment in the Hands and Rapunzel saga is coming soon. Read it to find out what I'm not happy about...

Rapunzel x

Wednesday 2 March 2011

52 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 14

Concierge buzzes me to say I have a gentleman caller on the way up to my apartment. Can't be sure but it sounds like he wants to add 'Woot woo!'

I pace around in nervous anticipation. Hands mentioned at Alton Towers that he likes the small of my back. Am therefore wearing a backless top. There are no flies on me. Clever girl.

Hands arrives. He leans down to kiss me and puts his hands round the back of my waist. Asks if I have put that particular top on especially for him. Damn...I've been rumbled. Smart arse.

Give him a tour of my apartment. Says he likes the view.

We sit down with glasses of wine overlooking Manchester. Tells me he was half an hour early so went to The Deansgate pub next door. I am happy about this. Nothing worse than a guy turning up early for a date.

Tells me a girl asked if he wanted to join her and her friends, then when he declined asked if he fancied going out with her sometime. I am not happy about this. Who does this girl think she is trying to cut my grass?

Discuss where to go for dinner from the limited choice near the theatre. Decide on Pizza Express. I say I'll print out a 'two for one' voucher.

Regret saying I'll print out a voucher. What if Hands thinks I'm a cheapskate?

Hands says printing out a voucher is a great idea.

My printer clearly thinks otherwise as it refuses to print anything.

Go to reception. Ask concierge to print out voucher for me.

Worry that they'll report me to Management for being a penny pincher. I'll get banished from the building for lowering the tone. Mind you I'm pretty sure they are already well aware I'm more Primark than Prada.

Leave Tower brandishing troublesome voucher. Concierge tells us to have a good time. Might be mistaken but am sure he winked at me.

Arrive at Pizza Express. As we both like things hot and spicy we decide to share two pizzas. There is no 'I' in team.

Go to theatre to watch show. It's a comedian I love from Scotland. I laugh lots. Hands does too. He seems to like a bit of Scottishness.

We hold hands throughout. Pretty sure that's not the done thing at a comedy show. There might even be a law against it. I like it though so don't care.

Show finishes. Comedian says he'll stick around for a bit to say hello. I get excited for a minute cause he's fit and I'd love to meet him.

Then remember I'm with Hands.

Then realise I actually don't mind cause Hands is also gorgeous. And funny too.

Think I must be falling for Hands.

Discuss going for a night-cap. Hands suggests going back to mine as he says 'it's the company that's important, not where we go.' Smooth.

I pour us another glass of wine and we sit down to chat. Hands seems more interested in me than his drink or conversation though. We start smooching on the couch.

Hands is a good kisser.

I start wondering if I'm going to have stubble rash.

Hands says that as it is a school night he should think about going.

We canoodle some more.

I think about what a really good kisser Hands is. While kissing him.

Hands says he definitely must go.

We continue partaking in some first base action.

Hands says he is going to go. Just after he kisses me one last time...

Think I've regressed back to being a teenager. Can't remember snogging the face off someone so much since I was 15 and Wiggy and I sat 'winching' in his bedroom listening to Sally Cinammon. On cassette.

Hands sighs and says he really is going. He gets up muttering something about cold showers.

I see him to the door. We kiss again. One for the road.

I go to bed very happy.