Showing posts with label Lanza Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lanza Man. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 December 2010

17 Spanglish

Paulo worked on reception at the hotel in Portugal I stayed at on a family holiday. With his tanned skin, dark, wavy hair and puppy dog eyes he was easily the best looking boy my 16 year old self had ever seen. I used every excuse possible to go to reception to speak to him. My persistence finally paid off when he invited me to go to the local disco with him one night.

Nektarios was the owner of the straightest, nicest teeth I'd ever seen. One flash of his pearly whites as he served me a drink on holiday in Rhodes, and I was smitten. As seven years his junior, when he pulled me up to dance with him on the bar in front of all the other customers, I felt just like Baby with my own Johnny.

Diego and his brother joined me and my friends while we sunbathed on the beach in Spain. He was tall, dark and moody. I thought he was lovely. My ardour was only slightly dampened when I saw him that evening working as a waiter, accessorising his uniform of white shirt, black bow-tie, black trousers and black shoes with white socks. Yes, you heard me right. White socks.

Anyway as you have probably gathered, I used to have a thing for foreign men. With their exotic, dark, looks they just seemed to represent everything that was important to me in my late teens - holidays, sunshine, travel, fun, cocktails, tanning, partying. As I got older though my priorities changed (what do you mean it doesn't seem like they have?!) and I realised that just finding someone easy on the eye wasn't enough. Other things are quite important. Like having shared values. And being able to communicate in other ways aside from body language.

Don't get me wrong though, I was still quite excited when working abroad this summer and a lovely-looking Spaniard asked for my phone number. (Remind yourself about Lanza Man here.)

Not so excited that I answered though when my phone rang with an unknown number. For a start I was far too busy working. Plus I suspected it was him, and a girl doesn't want to come across as too available. Shortly after my phone beeped with a text message.

Hello, honny a'm the one from hotel.

Ok, it wasn't exactly the best of texts. Didn't really give me much to go on. His use of punctuation was certainly creative though. And he may have used an unusual way of spelling 'honey', but perhaps 'honny' was the Spanish way? To be fair he also didn't know my name so what else could he call me? I realised that I also didn't know his name either. That needed to be rectified. I sent him a message.

What is your name Mr Mysterious?

He replied.

Love, my name is Eddy.

Eddy eh? Not as exotic as I might have liked, but easy enough to pronounce. And yes, you could say it was slightly odd that he didn't seem interested to know my name but I was happy with either Honny or Love. What girl wouldn't be? I was just pondering how to reply to him when another text came through.

I need to see you tonight baby. tell me when and where.

Yep, Baby was fine too. Honny, Love or Baby. I wasn't really fussed. I was more excited about the rest of the message. As someone who hadn't been on a date for ages (unless you count the time when I asked the guy handing out copies of the Manchester Evening News if he also had the free magazine, and he said meet me here same time tomorrow and I'll give you one) I was pretty flattered to be asked out on a date never mind that someone needed to see me...

I told my cameraman that I couldn't go for a drink with him after dinner that evening as I had a hot date. I also asked for his advice for suggestions on where to meet Eddy, explaining that it would have to be somewhere not too far from my hotel so I could make my own way home easily. But it also couldn't be too close cause I'd want to have the option of getting a taxi rather than let a stranger walk me home.

Cameraman noted that I seemed a bit apprehensive.

"Well yes of course! I'm going on a date with a guy that I know nothing about in a country I don't know."

"Why on earth are you going out with him then?!"

Hmmm he had a point. I realised that 'cause he asked me and he's nice looking' weren't good enough reasons to go out with someone.

So despite telling you in the previous Lanza Man post that I very often do things purely for the blog, I crapped out of it and instead texted Eddy to say I was busy and wouldn't be able to see him. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. To be honest though you aren't the ones that have to live with the fact you may have let the man of your dreams slip through your fingers.

As for Eddy, he seemed to take it well. Unless you count the five phonecalls in quick succession at midnight that night, none of which I answered followed by the text saying...

Please answer me baby. Please!

I was just relieved that I'd given him my Spanish number rather than my English one, so don't have to contend with him calling me to invite himself over to Manchester for forever.

Monday, 25 October 2010

20 Foreign Matter

So there I was working hard in Lanzarote (okay, okay I was working in Lanzarote) instructing my cameraman what shots to get, as well as ordering a barman do his best Tom Cruise impression for the camera, when a couple of guys that had sat watching me hard at it, motioned for me to go over to them.

I went expecting one of the usual questions...

A/ What are you filming?
B/ What a great job you have, how did you get in to that?
C/ Can I be on camera?

Or in this instance there could have been an extra option...

D/ Why are you such a bossy boots?

Turns out it was none of the above. Instead, no sooner had I approached them when one of them asked in a foreign accent if he could have my phone number.

Jeez, if I had a pound for every time a guy asks me that...

Actually in all seriousness, similar things have happened to me a couple of times before. And by things I mean forward foreign men.

I wasn't exactly overjoyed about it the first time, due to the fact that I was rushing to catch a train. What part of seeing a girl virtually running across a platform would make the guy in question think I had enough time to (and would want to) stop and give a stranger my phone number?

The second time occurred when I was lying alone on an almost deserted beach in Australia. A guy suddenly appeared in front of me, blocking my sunrays, and asked in broken English if I would be his girlfriend.

I kid you not. No other chit-chat. He didn't even want to try going on a date first. What I couldn't understand is why he thought I'd be suitable partner material. I was lying miles from anyone. He must have had special binoculars to check whether he'd want me for that role.

Needless to say neither of them got a positive response from me. It did make me think about the difference between nationalities though. Do we Brits have it wrong? Are we wasting far too much time by making small talk. Should we start getting straight to the point and stop dilly-dallying?

Anyway back to man in Lanzarote. I asked him what he would do with the number if I gave him it and the conversation went a bit like this...

Lanza Man: I would phone you and take you on a date.

Me: I don't live in Lanzarote though.

Lanza Man: Where do you live?

Me: Manchester.

Lanza Man: I will come there then.

Me: That's a long way to come for a date.

Lanza Man: I will come for forever...


So of course I gave him my number.

What?! What's wrong with that??? OK, I've made it pretty clear that I wasn't happy about the forwardness (or weirdness in the second instance) of the men from the other occasions, but this time was different for two reasons...

Number 1 - Back then I didn't write a blog. You may be surprised to know this but sometimes I do things nowadays just cause they might be interesting for you to read about. Similarly if I go on a bad date part of me is gutted and the other part is rubbing my hands in glee at the thought of typing up the details later on. Read Mr Trafford Centre for the perfect example.

Number 2 - Did I mention that Lanza Man was Hot, Hot, Hot with a capital H! H! H!?

Two perfectly good reasons why I ended up giving my digits to a guy despite not knowing his name, age, where he was from, whether he was single, hobbies etc, etc..

Within half an hour my phone rang with an unknown number...