Wednesday 28 December 2011

41 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 23

'So how did it go?' Jeremy Kyle enquired on the Monday morning. He was referring to my night in the hotel with Hands the weekend prior.

'Not good unfortunately,' I replied.

'It's your own fault,' Jeremy said after I'd recounted the sorry tale. 'What did you expect to happen after you told him that? No man would want to hear that so early into a relationship.'

I should add that JK was presenting the programme I was working on. I wasn't appearing on his show. Things weren't that bad. Or were they?

I'd been giddy with excitement when Hands had picked me up on the Saturday afternoon. Despite the fact that I spent the first six months of my life in a hotel that my dad was managing and for the last four summers I've done a job making videos of hotels abroad for tour company websites (by my reckoning I've probably filmed at at least 300) and I've practically been living in a hotel for three years (or above one anyway) you would imagine that going to a hotel was the last thing I wanted to do. It wasn't. I love hotels. Plus the fact that I would be sharing the experience with a certain large-handed man was adding to the appeal.

We arrived and followed the unwritten obligatory procedure that is required after checking in to your that we opened drawers and wardrobes to see how much space there was, even though we weren't going to be using them. We switched on the TV to see how many channels there were, even though we wouldn't be watching it. We exclaimed at the prices for room service, even though we wouldn't be ordering from it. We lay on the bed to test how comfortable it was, even though we weren't intending to do much sleeping in mean even though it wouldn't really matter for one night.

Law of hotels completed we got ready and went out for dinner. We found a lovely little family-run Italian nearby, the kind of place where you discover that you've been pronouncing bruschetta wrongly when they read back over your order. The kind of place where the staff are so attentive that by the time you leave you are ciao, ciaoing and kissing like old friends.

A while later and on our garlicky main courses (we'd discussed it and decided it was ok seeing as we'd only be kissing each other) for some reason I felt it was time to tell Hands that I was a blogger.

I've no idea why I decided then was my opportune moment. It may have had something to do with the Prosecco I was drinking. Who knows. I'd made my mind up though and went for it.

'There's something I need to tell you about myself...'

His face dropped and I could see various options flitting through his head. I felt sure that they would all be worse than what I was about to tell him. Wouldn't they?


Glen said...

Well I know I've been away for a while but sharing a room?? so soon?? Nice one :-)

Kimberley Kitten said...

I never realised there was hotel law?! Its not the kinda question that comes up is it 'so... what do u inspect when u go to a hotel?'
well... I can confirm that on Friday in the Ramada I opened and closed all drawers and doors, commented on the £3.50 tray charge, checked the size of the bath, flicked all lights on and off from different switches, jumped into a star fish shape on the bed and put the tv on... Didn't get as far as checking how many channels because the welcome screen had my first name, but his surname on so it was promptly switched off.

Betty B said...

Ohh mini break time already?!
I thought the blogger confession never had to take place, although am yet to get that far along with my disastrous dating history :(
I will see how yours pans out before I decide on the best strategy!
Look forward to more
*Tales from the Morning After*

nuttycow said...

Welcome back! Did you have a good Christmas and New Year?

Gia said...

Do boys not like bloggers?!? Oh no! Don't tell Boyfriend!!!!

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Must be love :) p.s. May be a little something in answer to your request on my blog ;) And I'll only wait to write a post every 6 months if you do ;)

Happy Frog and I said...

Good to see you back. I hope the blog revelation hasn't put him off as it's not that bad is it?! I was in a hotel today for one night and I can confirm I pretty much followed those rules as well though I also immediately checked the bathroom to see what goodies/freebies were provided. Looking forward to finding out more. :)

Vapid Vixen said...

I feel like making you a shirt to wear on your next date that says "Bloggers make the best lovers"...or something.

Discussion avoided. Problem solved. You're welcome. said...

I wish I was as discreet as you. Me? I blab about my blog and writing even before the first date. It's no wonder I'm still single.

Good to see you and your writing again.

Rapunzel said...

Yeah you've only been reading about Hands for a year Glen. Do you think it was too early?!

See you know I'm right Miss Kitten!

Let me know what you think Betty B when you've read my next post...

I did thanks Nutty Cow.It's nice to be back!

Rapunzel said...

I see it's too late Gia and you have told the boyfriend!

So excited to see you'd posted Life Begins. All I had to do was ask!

Thanks Happy Frog! I think being a blogger is great (when I actually blog that is!) but not everyone does...

Perhaps that's the best way Robyn?! Love me, love my blog!

Thanks all as ever for commenting x
I love, love, love that idea Vapid Vixen!!!

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