Thursday 21 January 2010

54 The Foreplay

Receive my first text from Fishy.

Is it too late to call you?x

He wishes!

I know he's not a fan of the pre-date call, but I'd like to chat to him before we meet. For a start to tell him that I'm Scottish. Just incase he has a thing against haggis or something. I already know that he'll appreciate my tight-fisted side.

I'm really short on free minutes, but I worry that it will look particularly stingy if I text back and say he can call me now. Plus he probably won't. Grudgingly I phone him.

He's laughing when he answers. Probably in delight. Tells me that he could call me back but doesn't imagine this converstion will last very long anyway.

I realise that there is a distinct lack of a scouse accent. Fishy isn't originally from Liverpool. I'm not from Manchester. We are like two big internet dating frauds. I just hope that I haven't been fooled in other ways, and that he is in fact 67. Or blogging from jail.

I was going to tell you what a lovely voice he has. That's until he started doing crap impressions of my accent. Wouldn't mind so much if he'd gone for the Sean Connery, 'Mishhh Moneypenny' version, but instead he sounds more like Mrs Doubtfire.

We start talking about what we are going to do on the date. Says he'll decide. He says it is the man's job. Good boy.

I find it hard to give up the control completely though, so start tossing around a few ideas. Suggest we do something a bit unusual, maybe like bungee jumping.

Bungee jumping?! What the hell did I say that for? Sometimes I need to tape up my mouth. I'd never want to go bungee jumping on a first date. I pray he doesn't go for that...

He doesn't. And the reason he doesn't, is because Fishy is scared of heights.

'Houston, we have a big, fat problem.'

I live in a tower. My apartment is about 460ft in the air. Two of my walls are windows.

Well...looks like if this works out between us there will be no slumber parties at mine.

He starts trying to find things that we do have in common. Asks me the names of my parents. Says his have the same names. Yeah right! Wonder if he'd be playing that card if I'd said Ermintrude and Goliath?

Chat flows really easily. There's a lot of laughing on both sides. We talk about our bad habits. He says something rude. I laugh. Ask him to write that I didn't find it funny. Just incase my mum is reading. He promises he will.

We talk about our online dating experiences. He laughs about the guy emailing me to tell me about his small appendage. Fishy says he doesn't mention his itchy anus until at least the third date.

We start to say our goodbyes. Don't think either of us want to. Just have to because the time has become Stupid O'Clock.

I check how long we spoke for when I get off the phone.

1 hour and 19 minutes!!

My 1 hour and 19 minutes bill. He's so buying the drinks when we go out.

Read Fishy's (no doubt innacurate) version of our chat here >>


Grgg said...

I hope you both blog about the wedding that i KNOW is coming... ;o)

TheUnwashedMass said...

1 hr 19? That is a heavy duty pre-date chat. Let's hope you haven't spent all your conversation options for when you actually meet!

Wynn said...

I like this.

AD said...

I just became a reader of both of you when this whole thing started. I'm loving it. In fact, I'm hooked. Looks like you two have me in for the long haul. Looking forward to the date blog.

Much love,
AC @

RenRexx said...

Sucks that you guys are on a limited phone plan.
I talked for 13 hours straight- YES, very true: from noon to 1am with the current bf before we went on our first date the very next day.

The Invisible Seductress said...


Adam said...

RenRexx, you're boyfriend is a closet gay. No straight man chats to girl for 13 hours straight on the phone. Not even if they are married or dating - and certainly not to a girl you haven't been on a date with.

Bamberio said...

This all sounds very promising Rapunzel. :-)

When you and Fishy undoubtedly sire your first offspring, I think it's only fitting that you at least name them after me. (I'll settle for the middle name by the way...).


Diary of Why said...

Here's to hoping hijinx ensue!

erin said...

You should get one of those unlimited plans.

Anonymous said...

Sounds good that you've had a nice long chat, not impressed with the Mrs. Doubtfire impression though!! I guess he was just a bit nervous and therefore picking on you ;-)
Looking forward to hearing the spicy details very soon..!!

Ally said...

Do they not have unlimited calling plans? Wow! Def let him buy you some drinks :)

Kate said...

Great post! I felt like I was earwigging in on the phonecall. :-)

Milky bars (and drinks) are most definitely on him when you meet up, although not asking him to call you back looks like it won you some brownie points. That's got to be worth at least a couple of vodkas in my book.

So what happens next? Whose court is the ball currently in?

Kate x

Keren David said...

Oooh, this sounds very promising. So glad he didn't ask about your menstrual cycle. Can't wait for the date report.

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

How about morris dancing? Or golf? Or aqua aerobics? Any good?

Umbra said...

This blog is fantastic haha!

I especially love "We talk about our bad habits. He says something rude. I laugh. Ask him to write that I didn't find it funny." Priceless.

Can't wait to hear about the date.

Lifestyle Lookbook said...

Haha he totally wrote that you found it funny! This is fantastic - I'm so glad you're doing this because a) it's hilarious and b) I actually had no idea your blog existed until this setup occurred!

Can't wait to read more of both your accounts!

Princess T said...

Haha hilarious!

But serious, why do guys do that pre-call text? it's like dipping your toe into the water to see if it's cold or something... I never reply with a phone call - can't make it too easy for them. I usually prefer the 'only one way to find out...' response to the 'can I call you?' text. Trust me, they always call...

Good luck with the date! said...

Let's watch him sweat this one out. Fishy's gotta come up with a fabulous, original, adventurous idea for the date..clock is ticking..:)

Anonymous said...

Good for you for insisting on the pre-date call -- always a good thing!

The few times I *didn't* talk to the guy before a first date, I always regretted it. Surely, I would have sensed the weirdness by phone...?

Can't wait to hear more... I just discovered your blog, and now I'm hooked!

Anonymous said...

Rapunzel, babe, I made it a point to put on my online profile under the "ideal first date" section that there should be no harnesses on the 1st date- they aren't attractive on anybody. Think about that before blrting out something about bunjee jumping next time ;)

Rapunzel said...

Ziazitella - best comment ever! A friend has contacted me to say your comment was her favourite bit of my post (which is a bit rude really, now that I think about it...)

Loverville, You Make My Date, Out Of Sync, Invisible Seductress, AC, Wynn and Diary of Why - thanks for the compliments and support - I need it!

Princess T - Damn! You are so right - you might have to become my dating guru.

Keren - He didn't but probably only because you warned him not to!

Kate - he has the 'ball'. He's meant to thinking up date ideas, though if his suggestions on here are anything to go by, I might have to take control!

You are so right Anonymous - fact is I sound nothing like Mrs Doubtfire as well. I just look like her...

Bamberio - what on earth have you got me into?!?!

Adam - stop coming on here and trying to ruin our illusions! It's hard enough to find a decent guy as it is, without you insinuating they are all gay!

RenRexx - ignore Adam. He clearly has no idea what he's talking about!

Unwashed Mass - if we run out of chat I plan to read him my blog...

Ally and Erin - if only it were like the States. We have to pay to talk in the UK!

Grgg - a wedding? Are you sure it is our blogs you are reading and not some other dating bloggers?!

Robyn - I'm nervous...

And on that note...

Fishy - all those suggestions are fine by me, but are you sure you want to do aqua aerobics when you have a nipple complex?!

Rapunzel x

Lainey said...

WHAT? Not a scouser? He gets an accent- where, in the name of the wee man, is your payback?

I am so bloody excited about this though. Good lucky Missus.


Kitty Moore said...

I am loving this (Fishy isn't reporting back very accurately..)

Kitty x

Anonymous said...

This is great that I can read both yours and his take on things. Looking forward top reading about the first date!

*Juliette* said...

It's Saturday night in San Diego so I'm thinking that your date must be over by now and I can't wait to hear how it went. Or, maybe it's still going?

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