Tuesday, 5 January 2010

26 Bye Dolly!


I have high hopes for 2010.

It has to be better than last year. I mean don't get me wrong, 2009 wasn't awful. I don't have any real complaints, but as I explained to my flatmate it was just a nothingy year.

"Nothingy?" He enquired.

"Yeah just nothing really happened. I won't really remember it for anything in particular. Bit boring actually."

Flatmate went back to watching his favourite programme Nothing to Declare while I mulled over what I'd done in 2009.

I'd shared my beautiful abode with three different people. A pilot from Ireland, an IT consultant from Mumbai and now current roomie from Oz, who does god knows what.

I did lots of different jobs. Some were emotional, like the documentary filming parents of disabled children. I had my eyes opened and met the most amazing people on that.

Some jobs were a bit more light-hearted, like the one where I was sent to Greece for three weeks with a cameraman I'd never met before. Luckily for me, he was one of the nicest guys ever and we had a ball. I just wasn't so keen on him when he filmed me jet-skiing. Or to be more specific, that he filmed the bit where I tried to get on the jet-ski. I've never looked so unladylike. And my ass looked huge. I'm sure that must have been the wide-angle lens.

There were jobs, that I'm not sure what possessed me to do them, like the night I spent working in a lap-dancing club. I could lie and pretend it was also for a documentary, but it wasn't. Just so you know, I worked behind the bar, not as a dancer. I made £32 in tips and trust me, I wouldn't have made anything close if I'd been dancing in my knickers!

I suppose I went to quite a few places last year. Taggart and I had a credit crunch holiday in Southampton and Brighton. I laughed at comedians at the Edinburgh Festival, I had a cream tea in Devon, I saw beautiful stars in Cornwall and in Cheltenham I...er...did some filming.

It was the year of catching up with friends I hadn't seen for eons. My friend that I met when I was 18 and worked in Portugal in an Indian restaurant, my friend that I met when I worked in Gran Canaria in er..an Indian restaurant and my friend that I lived with when I studied in Canada (was too busy being a student to work in a restaurant, Indian or otherwise!)

I also fell in love in 2009. A friend suggested I go to Barcelona with him when he read on Facebook that I'd bought a new bikini and had nowhere to wear it. So I did. That's when I fell in love. With Barcelona.

Of course it wasn't all good. There were a few terrible things that happened. Like when I was measured and I discovered I'm an inch shorter than I thought and I've been kidding myself for years.

And the time my dad's car was broken in to and I had two bags of clothes and nine pairs of shoes stolen. I was distraught. I even contemplated phoning Victim Support. My brother was as sympathetic as usual. He told me my clothes were shit anyway and the thieves had actually done me a favour.

That's about it. Nothing else happened in 2009.

Except I suppose for when I dressed as Dolly Parton and had a 'boob off ' with another Dolly.

And it was the year I dyed my hair blue.

It was also the year I had a wee in an £8million house that Robbie Williams considered buying.

And the year I 'performed' with a group of muscly, long-haired men wearing nothing but kilts and playing the bagpipes. I accompanied them on the maracas.

It was the year I was on TV in the audience of Don't Forget the Lyrics.

And it was the year an old man stopped me in Kwik Save because he thought I was Lisa Marie Presley.

It was also the year that a taxi driver in Greece wouldn't give me my change until I showed him my party piece (that's not a euphemism by the way, I do have a special trick I do with my double jointed arms..!)

So yeah, like I said. Not much happened.

2010 had better be better!

26 comments:

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Those wide-angle lenses get me every time. And do you REALLY not know what your roomie does?
Anyway, nice post. Almost every sentence made me smile.
PS there BETTER be another post about the Dolly Parton-off brewing...

Bamberio said...

It sounds like you had a pretty entertaining year to me.

I'm with Fishy: I definitely want some more details about the Dolly Parton-off.

I think the most amusing (and random) moment I had last year was teaching some topless go-go girls in a go-go bar in Bangkok's Soi Cowboy how to do the YMCA dance. They got really into it and were all really sweet. I suppose it would have been a refreshing chance from entertaining all the sweaty sex tourists...

I wasn't topless either before anyone asks!

Rapunzel said...

Isn't there a rule that 'what happens at parties when people are dressed as Dolly Parton, stays at those parties'?! Mind you, there is a video of it going around....

I love that image Bamberio! It's certainly better than when I went to a ping-pong show in Bangkok and a girl sitting near me went to catch one of the balls before remembering where exactly it had come from!

Rapunzel x

Dolly2 said...

How can it be that the Dolly-off was in a year that nothing much happened for you? It was a highlight of mine....

Rapunzel said...

Is that because you are under the misguided illusion that you won the boob-off?! x

Ally said...

I can't believe so many items were stolen from your dad's car, that sucks. Sounds like you had a decent year though - cool jobs, interesting trip too!

Ally@
Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

MsBurb said...

Okay, that's not fair!

Now, I wanna know if you indeed look like Lisa Marie???

Grrrrr!!!
(tee hee)

Cordially,
MsBurb

Burb's Buck & Buntline Inn (B3) http://burbsbuckandbuntlineinn.blogspot.com/

2nd Official Tate-LaBianca Murders Blog (TLB2) http://2ndofficialtate-labiancamurdersblog.blogspot.com/

Rapunzel said...

Can't see it myself. Certainly not enough so that someone could believe she was shopping for bargains in Manchester!

More people think I look like Elvis rather than Lisa Marie...and one confused person reckoned Priscilla...!

Boomer Pie said...

You definitely had too much fun last year. Can't imagine what you'll do in 2K10. Happy New Year! Oh I signed up to follow you because you sound totally wacky and fun. Stop by my blog and do the same if you like what you see. http://www.boomerpie.com/

Dutch donut girl said...

It doesn't sound boring at all. But you seem to have a strange fascination with Indian restaurants :)
Oh, I discovered I'm an inch shorter too!!! I'm devastated. There goes my modeling career... LMAO.

Kate said...

It sounds like you had some pretty interesting moments in 2009!

I've just stumbled across your blog and I love it. I've just started a dating blog myself. Please feel free to stop by and have a look!

http://search-for-the-perfect10.blogspot.com

Rapunzel said...

I'm so glad it's not just me, Donut girl! We should start up a club where we can help each other come to terms with our loss!

Thanks Kate and Boomer Pie, will definitely pop over to your blogs!

Taggart said...

Great year! Oh and the clothes were not shit, just for the record, 12 pairs of shoes? really? If I knew that i would have carried out a full investigation!

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Anonymous said...

Those wide-angle lenses get me every time. And do you REALLY not know what your roomie does?
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