Monday, 14 December 2009

38 Mr Not-So-Hot-To-Trot


I haven't updated my blog in a while, because I've been far too busy in a bubble of love with Mr Hot-to-Trot.

Come on! You don't seriously believe that do you?

Don't you know me at all? For a start if there was anything to report, I would have told you first.

It didn't actually go very well at all. In fact 'go' is probably over-stating things a bit...

You agreed in your masses (at least two of you anyway) that I could ignore my own pre-date rule, so I accepted Mr Hot-to-Trot's invitation to go for a bratwurst and a gluhwein at the Christmas markets.

He said he couldn't do the next few days but that we should arrange something for the following week and sent me his number to contact him to arrange it.

I don't think so Mr Hot-to-Trot.

I'm not that keen on having the ball in my court. Not in that situation anyway. I emailed him right back with my number. Ha! That showed him!

He then texted me. Keen. Good.

I texted back. Ball back over to him...

Next day...another text. Asking me how my day was. I said it was great or something. Think in actual fact it was pretty shit but you can't say that to someone you don't know. Best they don't find out you are a real person that has bad days until at least date two.

A few more texts.

Fair enough but this wasn't going as planned. What had happened to our date? Why had we become text buddies instead? I wasn't even enjoying it that much. Call me weird but I prefer to text people I've met.

Then it got worse. He texted me on a Saturday. At night. Asked if I was out.

What on earth was I supposed to say to that?

Of course I wasn't out. I was watching X-Factor. And more to the point, I was enjoying it. I couldn't tell him that though could I? What impression does that send out? Should I lie and say I was out? What if he then said he was also out and that we should meet up?

What a dilemma.

In then end I sent one saying something about having gone out most school nights that week and I was having a quiet one, but if he was out to have a drink for me.

Good answer. I thought.

He obviously didn't think so. No reply for ages. Damn. Why didn't I lie?

Then...Have just made a cup of tea and am settling down to watch Match of the Day.

Hurrah! He's as sad as me! (Actually I'd say sadder, but I suppose that's debatable.)

A few more texts over the next few days.

Eventually he sends one about meeting up. Finally! Didn't he realise I had people wanting to hear about a real life date, not about texts between two strangers.

He suggests a night. I can't do it. I suggest a night. He can't do it.

Oh for god sake.

Then next day he texts to say he can actually do the night I suggested...

Great! Except I had no battery and didn't get the text till hours later...

I reply eventually and tell him I can still do it. Ask if he can.

No reply...

No reply for a bit longer...

No reply for a couple of days...

What the hell?!

Why would you ask someone out and then change your mind a few hours later?

It isn't even as if this is a one-off situation. Oh no. It's happened loads.

A girl can get a complex. I mean I'm not quite at the 'nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go and eat worms' stage...but close to it.

Send him a text..A simple 'no', would have sufficed. Where are your manners?

And that is how our 'relationship' ended.

With him probably thinking 'she's a stroppy madam, thank god I didn't go on a date with her.'

And me thinking 'what possessed me to agree to go an date with a man whose profile picture showed him wearing a cardigan on a night out anyway?' (Oh it wasn't the cardigan I objected to. It's the fact it was pink. And he wasn't wearing anything underneath it. Poser.)

So if you have any advice for a girl failing miserably at online dating, let me know, and in the meantime I'll consult my copy of 'If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single'* and see what that suggests.

Or I might just eat worms...


*Every good home should have a copy of this. Next to the Ikea catalogue.

38 comments:

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

This is my favourite post of yours so far. In particular the not being able to tell someone you've had a bad day observation; the X-Factor line; and the text buddies trap. Really funny.

Wynn said...

Yeah the pink cardigan is a warning sign. And the dddays of texting. What a boring type.

Tuppence said...

Aww,you're not the only one that feels like that Rapunzel. I was comparing online dating experiences with my friend Heather the other day and we both have had completely paranoid 'nobody likes me' moments as well. When you get dumped by text message you do start to think "hmm, it must definitely be me" but then you cancel the pity party and realise that he is just a stupid bloke who wouldn't recognise a good thing if it mugged him.

As for consulting a book, the one you really want to read is 'It's Just a Date!' - very funny and full of very good advice.

Keep on going - it'll come right in the end. That's what I keep telling myself anyway...

http://tuppennytales.blogspot.com/

Bamberio said...

Haha! Excellent post!

Step AWAY from the dithering metrosexual in the pink man-digan.

One word to describe a man wearing a pink cardigan sans t-shirt: WRONG!

Did he accompany his chest-icle revealing ensemble with a suitably foppish silk tw@t scarf? If so then you had a very lucky escape Rapunzel!

Still, I'm a bit gutted you missed out on a bit of spicy sausage action.
Ha! Double entendre not intended... ;-)

Rapunzel said...

Thanks for comments everyone!

Mr Fish - please take notes incase we decide to do this blogger dating in the future...

Wynn and Bamberio - notice I made no mention of the pink cardigan and protruding muscles in the first post about him in Flibbertygibbet? Like when some girls split up with their boyfriends and tell their friends he had a wee one anyway!

Here Here Tuppence! The worthy blokes will be able to climb to the top of the tree and pick the best apples and all that eh?!

Oh and Bamberio, I've to be careful around sausages, as I will reveal in a post soon, so it's maybe just as well!

Kate said...

The joys of nixed signals. Sounds like you did the right thing!

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Aunt Juicebox said...

Oh, you like gluhwein! Well if you also like bacon, that makes you perfect, and Mr. Pink Cardigan a moron! What's with the texting? I know it's been years since I 'dated', but I think it would be easier if he had just called you to work out a date that was good for both of you, in 10 minutes time instead of days.

plainolebob said...

good move that guy sounded a little like a...........

Kitty Moore said...

What a dick! My advice would be don't do any more online dating!

Dutch donut girl said...

Oh lord, this post made me laugh out loud. You should be glad Mr. Hot-to-Trot has left the building.

Don't eat worms!

MsBurb said...

No good comes from anyone who wears pink cardigans...

If that's not already in 'If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single', then it should be! (tee hee)

Grrreat stuff, am LURKING you now (as I'm morally prohibited from doing the "F" thing) and have added your blog to my B3 Favourite Blogs/Forums List...

Cordially, (If Not Entirely Sober!)
MsBurb

High Chief Mucky Muck of

Burb's Buck & Buntline Inn (B3) http://burbsbuckandbuntlineinn.blogspot.com/

2nd Official Tate-LaBianca Murders Blog (TLB2)
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Rapunzel said...

Thank you all!

I'm now wondering why I wanted to go out with him in the first place!

Kitty Moore - any suggestions as to what I could do instead???

Bamberio said...

Start going to rugby games? There's plenty of foxy men hanging around at those.... :-)

DiaryofWhy said...

So glad I found your blog! Your experiences so mirror mine (although yours probably have a prettier accent.) :)

Rapunzel said...

Thanks Diary of Why - I'll definitely have a look. It's good to know it isn't just me!

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Anonymous said...

Oh, you like gluhwein! Well if you also like bacon, that makes you perfect, and Mr. Pink Cardigan a moron! What's with the texting? I know it's been years since I 'dated', but I think it would be easier if he had just called you to work out a date that was good for both of you, in 10 minutes time instead of days.foodmanagementms.com |

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