Wednesday, 23 February 2011

54 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 12

So Hands had suggested we take our relationship to the next stage...

Yep, he wanted us to exchange email addresses.

What do you mean you are surprised? What else would he have been referring to? Ah, I suppose you were more thinking along the lines that he wanted us to be Facebook friends weren't you? Nah, Hands doesn't do social networking so that wouldn't be an option.

To be honest I'm not sure I would have agreed to that anyway. I think you can get the wrong impression of people through their Facebook profiles (has anyone seen the film Catfish?!) There was a time that I met a guy in a bar who asked for my number and then texted the following day to suggest we 'look at each other' on FB. I thought it slightly odd but if he was so adamant about showing me his, what could I do but show him mine?

While perusing, I noticed that he'd changed his status a few weeks previously to say that he was in a relationship. Hmmmm.

Underneath that was a comment asking who the lucky guy was. Double hmmmm.

Was he a gay guy just looking for a new friend to go dancing with him along Canal Street? Was his friend a comedian? Was he actually straight but in a relationship? Was he single but only recently so was essentially on the rebound?

I've no idea. There was too much of a whiff of 'it's complicated' about it for my liking. I promptly de-friended him and vowed that in future I would become friends with people in real life, before getting pally in the virtual world.

Not that Hands was asking me to do that anyway. He just wanted to do things the old-fashioned way and email me. How quaint. Next he'd be suggesting that we hand-write each other letters. With a feather quill. On parchment. And have a pigeon deliver them.

I liked the idea. I didn't tell him that though. I just took his email address and said I'd think about it.

What?! You can't just let every guy you meet take down your particulars.

I emailed him the next day. What a good decision cause it turned out that Hands the Emailer was a lot more prolific than Hands the Texter. And flirtier too! He'd send me messages saying things like...

Ooh... That girl from the Tower is popping into the hand model's mind a bit too often this morning! Go away please I'm busy! x

or

Will you just get out my head please, I'm trying to work!!x


I was loving it! It was hard to know what to reply at times mind you. I'd normally be very apologetic and send messages such as...

Just to promise you that I won't be on your mind at all today. You'll be able to get on with your work and you won't think of me at all. I can't promise the same vice versa but that's just something I'll have to deal with I guess x

I was a bit stumped when he sent me a photo of his desk with the instruction that I should go and sit on it and kiss him. What could I send him back? As a freelancer in TV production I don't have a regular place of work and I've no good pictures of me and my furry boom. I suppose I could have sent the picture my cameraman took on our job filming hotels abroad. It was of me in my 'office', ie the bathroom, keeping out of shot while he filmed the bedroom. I was sitting on the toilet at the time and although the lid was down and I was doing paperwork, I didn't think Hands needed to see images of me on the loo.

Instead I decided to reply suggesting that we take our relationship to the next, next stage...

Dear Mr Hands,

Unfortunately I have other meetings scheduled for today and will not be able to fulfill your request. Can I suggest that we reschedule for this Sunday? I also propose that as an alternative to the usual 'networking' activity of playing golf, we go for dinner followed by a comedy show. You could also come to visit my premises where I can provide you with the service you have requested and we can discuss any other business.

I look forward to seeing you again and continuing this partnership.

Miss Rapunzel x

54 comments:

Ca88andra said...

Great reply! Oh, and thank you for reminding me I want to see Catfish!

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

So that's why you wouldn't add me on facebook before our date! Haha, nice post. I liked the email/old fashioned line and I shall be using Hands' line about being on my mind x

Rapunzel said...

Thanks Ca88andra! I definitely recommend you watch Catfish. It's great. Unfortunately you can't discuss it with anyone unless they've seen it or else you'll spoil it so I've been trying to urge people to watch it!

Yep Fishy. So nothing to do with the fact that I was in a wheelchair or was actually a man or whatever else you thought was a reason for me not adding you! At least you got a whole blog post wondering why though eh?!

Rx

P said...

You give good email. I should take lessons from you.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Woohoo, things are heating up with your last email. Nicely done. I'm glad he wasn't suggesting anything improper by "the next level." He's got a cute sense of humor.
xoRobyn

Bamberio said...

What a lovely, and topical, comment by Phone Sex there...

Anyway... I love a bit of email flirting and it seems Hands does do. Ace work missus.

As ever, I'm looking forward to the next installment. :-)

Rapunzel said...

Yes Phone Sex is one of my regular commenters! Normally on older posts mind you and the English isn't usually as good.

As ever I'll have to delete it but for those that wonder what Bamberio was talking about there was a spam comment about oral sex with a link to God knows what!

nuttycow said...

You hussy ;)

jo said...

whoa! how that's what i call making the move to taking things to the next stage :P

Betty B said...

ohhh exciting, liking his correspondence very much, good to read about continued success, does make mine look that little bit more dire though :)
x
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Happy Frog and I said...

Email eh?! I didn't see that coming. Really enjoyed this and looking forward to the next one.

Glen said...

Can i see your furry boom?

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"[...]pictures of me and my furry boom"

Is this some kind of slang I don't know about over here in the Americas?

If so, I'm with Glen.

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