Friday 19 February 2010

37 The One and Only

Sometimes I love being single.

Of course it can have its disadvantages. And obviously the fact that I've recently done such things as join an online dating agency and go on a date with a fellow blogger, means that I do want to meet someone and not end up as a spinster whose idea of fun is a new packet of Werther's Originals.

But like I said though, sometimes life as a single girl is great. The freedom, the independence, the not having to shave your legs regularly.

Then there are the days like today. The days that the universe sends you little messages to try and tell you that being single is a big, fat, negative situation. That you aren't an independent women, you are just in fact, all alone in the world. You are an inhabitant of Lonelyville. Population: One.

It started when I went to a body pump class this morning. Was quite impressed with myself for dragging my lazy ass to the gym on a Friday morning. Especially as I was out on the razzle dazzle last night. Got to the class and to say that that attendance was low, would be an understatement. It was just me.

The teacher asked if I wanted to go ahead. I decided I would. I mean it had taken a lot of effort to go to the class, I'd be as well doing some exercise. And in actual fact, wouldn't it be a bit like having a personal training session? Just without the big payment? See, there is a positive side to every situation.

My plan would have worked were it not for the fact that the teacher was clearly still in I've got a class full of people mode and deemed it necessary to put her microphone on and regularly shout instructions like 'Come on everyone! Put some effort in!'

I can only imagine that the muscle men pumping weights just outside the studio must have wondered who the 'everyone' was when all they could see was me. Was she doing a class for someone special? Body pump for Schizophrenics.

Was heading home from the gym feeling a bit like a loser when my phone beeped with a text from my friend Darren.

Hi darling. Just wanted to tell you I had an amazing time with you last night xxxxx

Great. Except I didn't see Darren last night. Plus he usually texts me as though I'm one of the boys. No, this text clearly wasn't for me.

Now this isn't a story about sending a text to the wrong person, of which I have many. For starters, there is the time my brother sent a text to a family friend by accident asking if they 'fancied a shag.' A male family friend.

No this is about the fact that I was having a little laugh to myself about Darren's mistake and was just sending him a cheeky reply saying that I thought it was lovely he'd started calling me darling, when there was another beep...

Obviously that last text wasn't for you.

Obviously. Obviously I'm not worthy of a 'darling'. Or a 'xxxxx'. Or even a 'x'. Mind you it appears I don't even deserve a 'how are you anyway?'

Arrived at the Tower and checked to see if I'd received any post. There was just one solitary envelope in the mailbox. (Are you spotting a theme here?)

It was a circular, looking for donations to charity. I opened it up. There at the top of the page in massive letters is 'One is the saddest number' and then 'Dear Friend, this letter, as you'll have gathered, is about loneliness...'

Give me a bloody break universe! I refuse to let you piss on my single portion of chips from a great height. Sometimes it is great to be a single girl. Honestly. For a start it means that you are able to decide on a whim to go on holiday with your best mate!

Yep, me and Taggart are heading off to the sun next week. Adios!


Tuppence said...

Hmm, I'm sure I recognise the bloke in the photo. Definitely someone I've dated in the last six months.

Have a fantastic holiday you jammy girl! We have to get a date in the diary for cocktails when you get back.


Rapunzel said...

Thanks hon and yes lets get this bloggers night out sorted. So far it is you, me and Kate from Perfect 10. Wonder if there is anyone else from our area that fancies coming?

Fishy has tried to muscle in but I've said its girls only. Did I make that up?! Maybe we need to take a vote?!

Rapunzel x

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Er, no - you didn't make it up. Please let me come. Please. I'm not desperate. But please.
Aside from your night out (please), this post made me laugh a lot. Especially as you had Werther's Originals on our date. And your brother sounds like a legend. Please.
PS you won't let me come because you want to keep me all to yourself, don't you? I've got it, haven't I?

The Girl said...

Do I need to get permission from a town council of some sort to move to Lonelyville?

TheMoodymann said...

Aww obviously for you. xxxxxxx ;-)

Anonymous said...

If you're me and lazy you also stop shaving your legs when you get married, after all, no need to impress him he's stuck with me now mwahahahaha!

Hope you have a good girlie holiday! I expect lots of tales of sun, sea, sand and *ahem* holiday romance to be blogged! You're never off duty in this job!

Being alone sucks but it does have it's good points - doing what you want, when you want and for how long you want... it's lovely!

Something that cheers me up is a quote from a fave book/film P.S. I Love You:-

If we are all alone then we are all alone together

xxxxx said...

Wish I could join, but it'll just have to be me and my Werther's Originals this weekend.

upsidedowngirl said...

I love how you can make that funny!!

My one day is today too but I'm consoling myself with the fact I've just started a new shift job at Manchester airport and won't have time for a I keep telling myself!!

Unknown said...

Being single must be great! Only yourself to think about.. no worries in the world!!! Private classes at odd times....Loads of good stuff!!!
You enjoy your holiday and send us some sun puuurrrleaaase...
And remember the one who gets you, better be good!!!Coz your worth it

Taggart said...

I just can't decide what I should have when we first arrive in sunny climates....Cosmopolitan, Mojito, Rusty Nail, maybe all three then some Sex on the beach!!!!! Oh the decisions of a singleton!!!

Unknown said...

Hey you!

read most of this, your a very funny girl.

speak soon


Roger Hayes said...

good stuff about your bro, that,s why I don,t text chat and so on. have a good holliday with your mate.

Kate said...

Some messages from the universe really do suck. Excellent post though - love it!

I hope you have a brilliant holiday and come back with some entertaining stories to tell. Just make sure you don't get too much of a tan for our blogger's night out!

Kate x

Momma Fargo said...

Aw...Embrace the single-ness! Someone will come the meantime have a LOT of fun! Afterall, you don't want to date one like your pic...well, he is kind of sexy...

jo said...

i love hearing stories bout sending texts to the wrong person. they are almost always funny.

phoebe said...

what darren Obviously meant was that he was just... beneath you. or maybe, he wished he was, but that was too far above him?
you get the pic:)

p.s i once had a guy send me a msg meant for someone else. he was hitting on her and swapping details... and gave out her email addy to confirm it was correct. i was so incensed, i told my friend all about it. and yup... by some maniacal twist of fate-it was HER email addy:P

Tuppence said...

Hey Rapunzel

We've got another one for the night out, Gingerella is up for it too.

As for Fishy, well we could always have him along as the entertainment - dance boy, dance! Then again, we're going out in Manchester - far too far for him to go for a night out probably...

Have a great holiday missus!


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My one day is today too but I'm consoling myself with the fact I've just started a new shift job at Manchester airport and won't have time for a I keep telling myself!! |

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