Tuesday, 8 June 2010

24 I'm Single, Let's Mingle

There was a moment the other week that I thought I was going to be a bit like Bob Geldof.

I'd come up with the idea for a brilliant campaign and I felt pretty sure it was going to be become a world-wide phenomenon. Plus, it was going to be a very worthy venture because it would help a large chunk of the population that are really in need but often get forgotten about.

And they are of course...Single People.

My brainwave came about quite by accident. If you remember, last post but one, was about how I'd given out my phone number to a random barman, and despite subsequently discovering that he had a girlfriend, I decided that it was still a good approach. I finished by telling you that I'd had the opportunity to do it again the same week...

Basically I was out with my friend Lu (so named because she is just a 'little un') and we'd just popped into one of our regular haunts for some pub grub, when the barman greeted me with 'I know you!'

I also knew him, but I wasn't sure where from. I don't know about you but I'm terrible for placing people when I see them out of context. I remember being adamant that a fellow diner in a restaurant was from a boyband, when in actual fact he just worked in my local Tescos.

It became clear though, when barman explained that he'd got a new job and just a few weeks before he'd been working in my local bar.

Ah yes, of course.


What was still unclear though, was how he knew that I frequent his previous place of employment, because when he did work there I swear that he never used to pay me the blindest bit of attention.

Unfortunately I can't say the same for me because Mr Barman was so gorgeous I couldn't help but look at him. His face was made to be ogled. It would have been rude not to.

Anyway I decided to ignore the past and concentrate on the fact that Mr Barman was paying me attention in the here and now. (Well they do say that the present is a gift and all that.)

As it was only a few days since my 'success' with Luscious Luke, and I was still feeling ten foot tall and bullet-proof, I decided that I would not be leaving without giving my number to this fittie.

Anyway, cutting a long story short, and bypassing accounts of my attempts to flirt for Scotland, it soon became time for us to leave. Despite being desperate for a wazz, I told Lu that I didn't need and let her go to the ladies alone (Girl in 'Going to Toilet on Her Own' Shocker!) because I was going to make my move...

Okay here goes....

C'mon Rapunzel, you can do it..


I'm sorry readers but I couldn't 'do it'. Turns out I'm a big feardy cat.

I tried to convince myself that it was because I didn't want to become a 'number-giver-outer-floozie'. Also I like that bar he works in and I didn't want to make things awkward for either of us any time I went back in there.

Fact is though, I think I was most worried that he may actually have a girlfriend. Of course he may not have been interested in me full stop anyway.

What if he was though, and just didn't think it appropriate to be making moves on the customers a few weeks into a new job?

If only there was a way for single people to tell that other single people were single.

That's when I had a brainwave...

People could wear something to indicate their single status. Like those traffic light nights where people wear certain coloured clothes depending on what they are 'up for' that evening. This would be a daily thing though, similar to those that are married wearing a ring.

There starteth my idea for a campaign. It was going to be brilliant!

I mentioned it to my mum, thinking she'd feel proud about how clever her daughter is. She just wanted to know what I'd envisaged people wearing. Her suggestion was a sticker.

Yep, a sticker. Seriously.

Okay I might not have come up with anything definitive but I knew for sure that 'a sticker' was a pants idea. For starters you never know when you might meet your Mr or Mrs Right so should be advertising your singleness at all times.

I can just imagine if I'd turned up for work at the Breast Unit wearing my 'I'm available' sticker. I'm pretty sure that my new boss would have promptly called my temp agency to express concern that it seemed I was more interested in picking up doctors than typing up letters.

Nope that definitely wasn't going to work. I called my brother to tell him what a silly suggestion my mum had made and asked for his ideas. Imagine my surprise when he informed me that my whole campaign was shit.

He pointed out that if us single girls were wearing a ring, bracelet, t-shirt, tattoo, sticker or whatever, that announced we were unattached, we could no longer ward off any minging guys that approached us, with the excuse that we have a boyfriend.

Oh yeah. I could see his point. And I didn't have any comeback for him.

So that was the end of that. My time as a campaign leader lasted for a mere...ooh...half an hour.

Unless you have any suggestions on how to make it work that is? Come on, unweds need you! Help singles mingle!

24 comments:

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Haha. Someone went on Dragons' Den with a neck chain thing for single people. Not one Dragon went for it. I distinctly remember the Scottish one laughing and laying into the inventor.
*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

Miss OverThinker said...

I think the sticker/ring/tattoo thing is a good idea even if it prevents us from warding off the unwanted guys away - it is so worth it... so, lets start a campaign on facebook or something. I'd be the first one to join..

isadori said...

How about something you could flash, discreetly and sexily of course - like a small tattoo just under your shoulder strap or on the inside of your wrist. I'm liking this idea! Unfortunately I'm married so it's too late for me.

Hello by the way. I've not commented before but I found your blog after clicking on several bloggy links and I keep popping back - you make me laugh, thanks! :)

Rapunzel said...

Their presentation was obviously rubbish Fishy cause every millionaire worth their er..millions can see that it is a brilliant idea!

Ah well, their loss is our gain cause me and Miss Overthinker are going to do this! Two people make a group don't they?!

Thanks for popping by Isadori. You could still be inolved but as a consultant or something.

My friend has just suggested badges that you can turn around depending on who is around. Perfect!

Who else wants to join us?!

Rx

Meghan16 said...

Well, obviously, it would have to be something not permanent but something you could wear any time. Like at the pool. OR... umm.. yeah, that's all I have to say.

Anonymous said...

Fab idea! We have a radio station duo (Hamish and Andy) that tried something like this. At a certain time people "Pat their head if they are single". Apparently it works a treat. Plus if there is no-one of interest around you can just opt out without having to hide your "single sign". The men need it too because the absence of a wedding ring means nothing these days!

jo said...

i'm not so sure bout a sticker 'coz generally a sticker just wouldn't match most of my clothes and it might fall off halfway anyway. but i think a ring/bracelet might be a good idea. who cares if we can no longer use the excuse that we have a boyfriend to ward off unwanted attention. just find another excuse (like my personal best one where i once said that i didn't have a phone in response to a creepy guy's request for my number and then forgot what i said and proceeded to whip out my phone 5 mins later. thankfully he was a lil slow on the uptake and didn't catch on that) or better yet, the guy would know that you just weren't interested. and there i've gone writing a novel...

Kate said...

What about a plastic wristband thingie?

It could have the letters WWRD (What would Rapunzel do?) and we singles could wear them with pride and think about how Rapunzel would approach whatever dating situation at hand, then take action!

If the room is full of sweaty-swamp donkeys you could always remove it, but if there the place is swarming with hotties you could wear it with pride.

:-)

i am cheapskate said...

Can single people not just wear a sad, lonely, perhaps desperate expression to alert other single people?

Fake a cheery disposition when amongst 'mingers'.

Perhaps.

Rapunzel said...

Am loving this!

Good idea Meghan and I like that you have taken it one step further Kate (though surely this post suggests that I may not be the best role model?!)

Brilliant story Anonymous! I had never even thought about an action rather than wearing something. I can just imagine singletons all over the world patting their heads on the hour!

Thanks for caring enough to write, Jo! I think you have a point and actually those kind of men never seem to take the hint anyway.

And Cheapskate, your idea is er, interesting. You are attached I presume?!

Anyway, Miss Overthinker suggested starting a facebook group so I've gone and done that. It's called 'Help Singles Mingle!' It isn't exactly doing well as yet, but surely it is only a matter or time??

Join it, pass it on, help singles mingle!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Help-Singles-Mingle/128647217165253#!/pages/Help-Singles-Mingle/128647217165253?ref=ts

Miss OverThinker said...

This is awesome.. I think this is the first time that I have been taken seriously in the blogging world.. I can't check the facebook page from work as it's blocked... but I'd definitely join it when I go home.. but Rapunzel you and I might be the only two on it..

i am cheapskate said...

I've just realised that I always wear a sad, desperate expression – a flaw in my otherwise pefect plan.

Red Squirrel Tales said...

I dont have any specific ideas..

But i Back the general one 100%

Snafugirl said...

A ring that is one half red and one half blue. Blue is worn on the under part of the finger if single, showing the red for "In a relationship" and vice versa. This way, you can quickly flip it around if some creepster is hitting on you and you want to pretend you're in a relationship! :)

Kitty Moore said...

Hmm..I think you should just forget about ways to spot singles and just take a deep breath and hand your number over to the gorgeous barman!

upsidedowngirl said...

I love this as every guy I meet is attached at the moment.

However, isn't the point of dating supposed to be exciting...thrill of the chase and all that? If you knew who was single it would take a certain element out of the whole dating game.

Plus, when you're chatting to someone in a bar who's attached they're sometimes the most useful tool as they can introduce you to their hotter single friends!!!

:D xx

Ally said...

i think that would be a great idea if they could come p with something. for a while there were rumors of girls wearing a red yarn or string on their wrist to symbolize that they were bulimics. honest i swear i read this somewhere.

when i think of single girls though, i think of no engagement ring, but they could have steady boys.

Rapunzel said...

Loving your idea Snaf.

Glad we will have your support whatever Red Squirrel!

I too thought it would be good idea Ally but maybe Upside Down and Kitty have a point?

The campaign failed miserably anyway. The facebook page only has 2 followers and one of them is me!

Ah well we tried Miss OverThinker. Maybe we were just too ahead of our time?!

Rapunzel x

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