Friday 14 January 2011

34 Tales of a Real Life Romance - Chapter 3

If there was a competition for texting, I would definitely have entered my reply to Hands, so smug was I with it.

I felt that it had a bit of everything in it. It made it clear that I liked him. It was a bit cheeky. By saying 'this week' it was giving a time-frame for the date. And most importantly, it was putting the ball back in to his court.

Good work for under 140 characters.

I'd sent it on its way feeling sure that Hands would appreciate its cleverness.

He didn't. Either that or he was just jealous...

Hands had asked for my number on a Friday night. His first text to me asking me out came about 24 hours later on the Saturday night. My carefully crafted reply to him agreeing we should, was sent a couple of hours later on the same night.

His next text to me wasn't until the Sunday at 16:41. Yes, I repeat, Sunday at 16:41. Nineteen hours since I'd replied to him and two days since we'd met. Was this the slowest text conversation in history? It wasn't even that good a reply...

That's excellent news, make sure you let me know what night so I can ask you how it went with him x

Oh alright it wasn't that bad. He seemed happy that I'd agreed, was playing along with me which I liked, and it looked like the date was definitely going to be on.

What I wasn't happy with though, was that the ball was back in my court. I didn't want the ball. I wanted the man to be the man and for him to decide the day.

I spent the next three and a bit hours moaning to my flatmate and yearning for the olden days, when people would actually call to make arrangements and a date could be made in a few minutes.

The times of yore when if a guy asked for your number it meant he really liked you, cause he had to be brave enough to call the landline and possibly have your mum, or worse, your dad answer first. (I can't help it if my good old days were when I was 14!)

I then sent my reply...

I'm pretty flexible so I'm going to let him decide when is best for him!x

Ha! That'd teach him! Here, have the ball back over in your garden.

Hands obviously likes ball games because he kept that damn ball for ages. God knows what he was doing with it? Practising his dribbling skills? Doing keepie-uppies? I've no idea. Whatever it was it kept him busy for 27 hours, busy until 22:21 on Monday to be precise...

I've had a word and he's up for Thursday if you are? He said he'd call you on Wednesday to make a plan x Oh and he said to say night x

Finally! I was still a bit miffed at how long the whole thing had taken though and I wasn't sure what to do next. I said the same to my flatmate.

She told me that I had to hold off replying and had to wait as long, and in fact longer, than it took him to message me before I sent my next to him.

I should explain that I call my flatmate the Goddess because there are times that I've been out with her and I've tripped over all the tongues that are out as she walks past guys. She's the kind of girl that you would hate if she wasn't such a goddam lovely person. Bitch!

Fact is though, men adore her, so naturally I was going to take any advice regarding the male species that she could give me. I was still curious to know why though...

"It's what The Rules tell you to do."

"What rules?" I asked

"The Rules. It's a book written by a couple of women that tells you how to get your man as long as you follow the rules that they set out. "

I was liking the sound of this.

The Goddess went on to explain a bit more to me. She said that she'd order me a copy (see I told you she is lovely?!) and in the meantime we'd follow them as much as we could according to what she remembered from reading them. My first initiation into The Rules was to hold off replying.

"He needs to realise that you are a 'creature unlike any other' and that you are not waiting around for him."

So on the Tuesday at 22:22 I sent a message...

Aren't you good organising my date? I'm sure that Hands appreciates it what with him being so busy in the hand modelling world. Can you please tell him that Thursday is good for me too and I look forward to hearing from him tomorrow x

I was pretty excited - Team Rapunzel had the Goddess as a cheerleader, I had a rule book instructing me what to do and I was a 'creature unlike any other.' This was not going to fail...


Now it's over to you...It's too late for you to help me now as this has already happened but I'd love to know what you think. Did the delay in replies suggest that Hands was playing it cool or wasn't actually very interested? Or was I just doing that girl thing or analysing everything to death and it meant nothing?

Also what do you think about me playing him at his own game? Would it work? Would he notice? Would he care?

Leave your comments here or on facebook and lets all try and learn something about the opposite sex.

And next week I'll tell you what did or didn't happen...


Betty B said...

As we know, I am the worst person for any help of this kind, think I might deffo read this rule book though, I need as much help as I can.
Good post even though it is a tad analytical!
Betty B

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Excellent post. Love the 'him keeping the ball' stuff. As for his texting, I suspect you were just an 'option' for him.

Check out my dating disasters:
*Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

whydidn'tshefancyme said...

It sounds to me like he was distracted with other things.

If I was that keen on someone I wouldn't be waiting around for days to get this thing organised.

He should have had it all done & dusted within a few hours of your initial ball passing text.

Looking forward to what happens next.

Alyson said...

One of my biggest pet peeves: Texting, then once I reply, waiting AGES to text again. I mean, you started the conversation. If you didn't want to continue it, you shouldn't have bothered. It drives me crazy.

I'm afraid I've got to agree with Fish. It seems like a common thing with men that are keeping their options open.

Hope that's not the case here though, of course.

Bamberio said...

Ooh I love this! I know it's happened already but I hate to say it all the same: if a bloke's interested in you (and I mean really interested in you) he won't leave it that long in between replies.

I had a similar thing happen to me. Met a guy, seemed nice but it took us AGES to arrange a date due to stupid texting delays. When we finally met up we got on like a house on fire and agreed to meet again. Cue another ridiculously painful text conversation where he asked me when I was free, I told him, he didn't reply, the days I'd suggested passed only for him to then ask me when I was free!! I got bored of his stupid games (even though he claimed not to play any - I know!) and promptly binned him off. He even got back in touch with me out of the blue recently, but alas leopards never change their spots.

I'll be amazed and very impressed with your feminine allure if your liaison with Hands works out differently from what I've read so far!

Phew, sorry about that. Bit of an epic reply there...


Lifebeginsat30ty said...

I also had this happen to me from one boy. Always took him 24 hours to respond. He even said he did it to his mum! She apparently would always send 2 or 3 of the same text to remind him. Obviously this didn't turn out well.

I agree about the text mirroring strategy. Works for emails, etc as well.

But since your posting about him, I'm guessing there's something up your sleeve as regards to him. Maybe he didn't want to look too keen either?

Glen said...

you are crediting us men with too much intelligence. We simply can't do two things at once and rarely actually think things through.

If people were talking to him - he couldn't text.
If the TV was on - he couldn't text.

and as for cunning plan? No we are just crap at replying.

I reckon you should be fine - as long as you didn't sleep with him on that first date.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for it - I'm very much FOR sleeping with people on first dates. I just think Hands is too cool for that! But then to be fair - I haven't dated many men so I can't say my opinion is very well founded :-)

The Goddess! said...

Glen... you made me laugh x not as much as our blogger extrodinare of course ... but for shedding that light on the fact men are simple and can't multi task and we're all thinking it's a big cunning plan..... said...

Glen is right (and funny too).

Here's my take: Hands is one of those clueless guys who doesn't take action to make things happen with women or any aspect of his life. Does he happen to live with his mother? I wouldn't be surprised. For your sake, I hope I'm wrong. If I'm right, I've said this before: you deserve better!

Can't wait to read the follow up.
Have a great weekend, Rapunzel.

Goddess said...

Waiting.... for your next chapter.... now i know what it was like for you to wait for a text.... : )
I can't bare the suspence hehe xx

upsidedowngirl said...

I would say that holding off on a man and being more aloof is definitely a good option!! It's good to play texting games, so long as the game playing goes as far as that.

And all women over-analyse everything, we can't help it, it's just the higher plane that we're on :)

Can't wait for the next chapter!! xx

upsidedowngirl said...

*plain or plane?? xx

Rapunzel said...

Great comments guys - loving your work!

I did warn you Betty B that there would be a lot of analysing on my blog!

Cheers Fishy and thanks for the honesty. It is perfectly ok to keep your options open at that early stage!

I tend to agree with you, Why Didn't She Fancy Me? Was it really necessary to take days to arrange a date when a simple 'do you want to go out thursday at 7?' could have sufficed?!

And like Other Wordly One says, it drives us up the wall!! Glad you agree and I'm not the only one!

Never apologise for long comments Bamberio. I love them! Feel free anytime. Particularly as you write a rugby blog and I don't suppose you get the opportunity to write the same pearls of wisdom like this on there?!

Rapunzel x

Rapunzel said...

And yet guys try and make out WE are the difficult ones, Life Begins! but yes you are right there is more to this story and it is interesting to get different perspectives as I recount it!

At this stage in the story there hasn't been a first date Glen to not sleep with him on!! I'm sure you are right waht you are saying. We all know that multi-tasking is a female skill but I just don't get why Hands ask me a question and then not continue with the conversation..?!

Thankfully I have The Goddess to sit and analyse things with! It doesn't get us anywhere but we enjoy it! Chapter 4 coming soon. glad you are looking forward to it even though you know exactly what happens...! x

I should have contacted you when it was happening Robyn - you are a great cheerleader! Me, you, The Goddess and The Rules - we would be an invincible team!x

Love the higher plane/plain comment Upside Down Girl! You are so right. I agree in theory that playing them at their own game should work and I'll let you know whether it actually did...

Rapunzel x

Dater at Large said...

I usually mirror the response time of guys I'm texting with or try to slow theirs down (in the case of the over-eagers). Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's just because of my own schedule.

Careful with The Rules, though! They're quite strict and unless updated, I'm pretty sure texting isn't even allowed.

jo said...

sometimes i feel like the whole thing is a game. he waits before he texts you back so the next time you wait longer. this time you texted him first so next time you wait till he texts first. i get why sometimes we have to play the game but mostly it's just frustrating. i'm not sure what he's thinking. maybe you were just one of the options for him. or maybe he just needed to sort out his schedule first in order to give you an actual day. anyhow the date is set so have fun and tell us all bout it :)

Rapunzel said...

You are so right about how strict they are Dater at Large as you'll see I discovered in chapter 4! Really unsure about them...

And yes the date was set in theory Jo but we still hadn't quite got there..!

Rapunzel x

Anonymous said...

This is so funny and I've done the exact same thing... I always completely overanalyse guys' texts and get so frustrated if they take too long to respond! And then I realise that often guys have literally no idea that we're thinking this way at all...

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